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Band 4.5

A knowledge of maths is not important for most jobs nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#maths #jobs
Nowadays, the job market is constantly looking for qualified employees, with a wide variety of skills.
Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
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argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
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 that arithmetic is not so important for the majority of jobs. I completely agree with
this
 statement because
this
 skill is important only for a few crafts and we have a developed technology that can help us with it. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will explain my reasons and I will provide some examples.
To begin
 with, mathematics plays a fundamental role
just
Rephrase
apply
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in some specific fields like engineering, computing, and sciences like physics and chemistry. For
this
 kind of position, knowing
this
 subject is a must in order to build a successful career. But for the other big percentage of work, math is not necessary, because is too theoretical.
For example
, a business manager works with numbers daily, but he needs other practical skills than maths like marketing research and economy.
Secondly
, for the basic use of mathematics in each sector is possible to do calculations
quicker
Replace the word
quickly
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 with the aid of technology. Each craft could require a minimum use of it, but thanks to many apps like
calculator
Capitalize word
Calculator
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 or Youmath, the knowledge of arithmetic takes a back seat.
For example
, a personal trainer could count his salary in an easier way by typing the number of hours he worked and the relative hourly rate.
To conclude
, despite a basic knowledge of arithmetic
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 useful, I think
that is
 not a necessary requisite for most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job positions because is fundamental just in some specific fields like sciences and engineering and
also
 because thanks to the advancement in technology we can fix daily maths problems with many apps.
Submitted by tommasobelgrano02 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by presenting arguments in favor of the statement. However, it lacks a balanced discussion as it does not consider counterarguments or provide a clear stance on the extent of agreement or disagreement.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas could be further improved by providing more specific examples and ensuring a smoother flow between paragraphs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • omnipresence
  • automation
  • advanced mathematics
  • critical thinking
  • digitalization
  • software tools
  • mathematical literacy
  • personal finance management
  • logical reasoning
  • data analysis
  • mathematical competence
  • complex calculations
  • in-depth
  • broader job market
  • specific fields
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