IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #advertisements #products #lives
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In modern times, commercials have been increasing a lot thereby, creating a lot of confusion among the public. There have been ongoing debates about whether adverts promote unnecessary spending or they have a good impact on consumers to lead a comfortable life . I strongly agree with the former opinion and my arguments in the following paragraphs support my view.
To begin
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 with, advertisements have more negative effects on the community than their advantages. To put it in detail, nowadays there are numerous brands and products emerging
as a result
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, there is a piece of promotions through adverts which encourage people to buy them though it is not essential.
Furthermore
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, it not only leads to deviation of budget in low-income group families but
also
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 persuades them that life is nothing without those products.
For instance
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, it has been reported that in Hyderabad, due to advertisements 30 per cent of the budget has been spent unknowingly.
Moreover
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, these days commercials are targeting children which should be highly opposed as toddlers and kids can be easily influenced because of their immaturity. Due to
this
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, children become stubborn and demand their parents to buy them without knowing the adverse effects. On top of that, unhealthy foods and beverages are gaining popularity only because of commercials which have negative consequences
such
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 as obesity, and diabetes. To illustrate, the percentage of obesity and chronic diseases have increased especially among children due to unhealthy food which is promoted through adverts. Overall, it can be concluded that because of advertisements a lot of money has been wasted by the public.
Therefore
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, these should be controlled and monitored by the government by putting strict rules.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
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