Some people believe that government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individual should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include example from your own experience.

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There is no denying the fact that

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apply

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Some

people

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from different countries think that the

government

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do not have the ability to take

care

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of old

people

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but others can for some reason.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that, the

government

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who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

can take

care

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of them have enough

money

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, there is

also

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an argument that

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apply

show examples

other governments do not have the ability to take

care

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of old

people

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This

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essay will analyse

this

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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

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hand, the

government

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should look for old

people

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and support them with everything they need.

In other words

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, if they want

money

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or an apartment

government

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must do everything they want because they do not have someone to take

care

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of them.

In addition

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this

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method will make them happier and healthier and they can live life easier.

For example

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, I know many old

people

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who do not have an apartment or any kind of food because they do not have children or someone to take

care

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of them.

On the other hand

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, old

people

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should take

care

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of themselves by saving

money

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. It is

also

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possible to say that, they should plan for

this

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day and try to find any solution to

this

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Moreover

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this

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idea will let them live a good life in the future.

For instance

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, I saw many old

people

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work for a long time just to save a little

money

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for their future. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

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question. On balance,

however

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, I tend to believe that, old

people

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should take

care

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of themselves and save

money

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for their future because it is not possible that

government

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will take

care

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of all old

people

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bcynfn159Sat Sep 14 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement, directly stating your opinion on the matter.

task achievement

Support your arguments with more detailed examples and evidence. This will strengthen your overall argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of the essay.

task achievement

Ensure all points are fully expanded and explain your reasoning in more detail.

task achievement

You have presented both sides of the argument which shows a balanced approach.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has clear paragraphs with distinct ideas in each one, which aids in readability.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Nowadays number of older people select to live in retirement communities with other people rather than living with their adults .is it a positive or negative way.

Nowdays, advertising aimed at children is on the rise. Some people think this shoul dbe controlled. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Overpopulation is the world's most serious environmental problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.