IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Topic: Nowadays more and more people consume fast food on a regular basis. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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In
this
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 modern era,most
people
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 prefer to have fast
food
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 over homemade items in day-to-day life. Eventually,
this
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 bad trend might cause serious illnesses, obesity and even the sudden death of a person.
This
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 essay will discuss all possible merits and demerits of consuming restaurant
food
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.
To begin
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 with, it is generally known that the majority of
people
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 depend on
food
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 which is prepared in hotels or bakeries to ease their work. Because most
people
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 are working in spite of gender and age.Eventually, frequent intake of
such
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 kinds of
food
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 items may cause dire consequences
such
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 as cancer, hypertension, type 2 Diabetes and so on.
For instance
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, a recent report shows that 70% of
people
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 in Kerala are suffering from cancer.
In addition
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, spontaneous death is another impact of
this
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. To illustrate,in,India,the morality rate of youngsters who are between 20 to 30 years
have
Wrong verb form
old has
show examples
 increased recently as reported by the media.
Finally
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, the main disadvantage is infertility .Many
people
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 are undergoing treatment for children.
On the other hand
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,the one and only advantage of fast
food
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 is that it does not need time or hard work.It would be less time-consuming for individuals who are in a hurry.
For example
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, professionals who work in important sectors can not make typical cuisines on a regular basis.
Therefore
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, the availability of restaurants would be a great relief for them.Next,in some crucial situations like hospitalization patients or caregivers might rely on fast foods in order to fulfil basic necessities.
However
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, when considering the dire consequences of frequent fast
food
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 intake
people
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 need to find more solutions to
make sure
Verb problem
ensure
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good health.
To sum up
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, the advantages of fast
food
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 items are much less than the disadvantages.
Hence
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 ,every community should come forward to mitigate the excessive fast-
food
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 intake and dwindling eating from hotels.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in clarity and relevance to the topic.
task achievement
The response is mostly complete and relevant but lacks clarity in presenting comprehensive ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with varied vocabulary. However, there are errors affecting clarity and precision.
grammatical range
The essay contains a mix of grammatical structures with frequent errors impacting clarity and coherence. More emphasis on sentence structure and grammar accuracy is needed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Time-saving
  • Affordability
  • Variety
  • Economic boost
  • Job creation
  • Health issues
  • Obesity
  • Non-communicable diseases
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon footprint
  • Cultural degradation
  • Traditional cuisines
  • Overconsumption
  • Addictive ingredients
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