IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people read news from the Internet, but newspapers will continue to be read by the majority of people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #internet #newspapers #majority
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It is true that a growing number of
people
 tend to read online
news
. While some
people
 argue that the majority will still read paper media, I disagree with
this
 idea because I believe that the
Internet
 is more likely to be the mainstream. There is no doubt that many
people
, especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly person, read
newspapers
 as their daily routine. The old
people
 are more familiar with traditional
lifestyle
Change the noun form
lifestyles
show examples
,
such
 as
newspapers
 and radio, rather than
modern
Add an article
a modern
the modern
show examples
 one, and their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 seem to be difficult to change. Another possible reader of
newspapers
 would be those who might not be able to have a reliable online connection. In
this
 case,
newspapers
 may be a better option for them.
However
, with the development of modern technology,
news
 from the
Internet
 is likely to attract more
reader
Fix the agreement mistake
readers
show examples
.
Firstly
, the
Internet
 allows the
news
 to be transmitted more rapidly, and both readers and journalists would feel convenient
to use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 the
Internet
.
For example
, journalists tend to post their up-to-date
news
 on the
Internet
 rather than on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper media, and readers from all around the world can read
these
Change the determiner
this news
show examples
news
 on their smartphones or laptops instantaneously.
Secondly
, most young adults spend their leisure time on their electronic devices, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newspapers
 would be the least likely thing they would read.
Finally
, as the young population grow older and
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 the majority of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
, it would be clear that the
Internet
 would become the
first
 choice for most
people
. In conclusion, I believe that
although
newspapers
 are still popular
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
journalism is changing rapidly and online
news
 will undoubtedly be the most favourable source for us.
Submitted by tincel on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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