IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, studying in different
cities
Use synonyms
 has become more popular among the
students
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 of some countries
while
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 some of them from different regions still prefer to continue their studies staying at their parents' residence. In my opinion, I believe that studying in different
cities
Use synonyms
 has more positive sides than negative aspects and
this
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 essay will emphasize some of the points in favour of that statement. To support my point of view, I want to add that migrating to different
cities
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 rather than staying in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 domain brings a number of benefits to the aspirants. First of all,
this
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 practice tends to remove the homesickness from a student and enables his capability to cope with the most difficulties if he has to face them. To cite an example,
students
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 who study in different domains tend to participate in the most difficult work than the others.
Moreover
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, the
students
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 get more opportunities to build their morality and they get enough scope to express their potentialities in the fields of education and profession respectively and
this
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 surely boosts their hunger to gain success.
On the other hand
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, to describe the disadvantages, people studying outside of their
cities
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 often do not get enough support from their families.
For instance
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, people are always comfortable with their families but in case of facing problems, they do not get the support which they need the most in crisis moments.
Also
Linking Words
, there is pressure of coping with an unfamiliar condition can bring stress to the
students
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 which can
show
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a negative impact on their studies.
However
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, if the
students
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 have the ability to manage every situation smartly, they can overcome the difficulties quite easily. For
this
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,
students
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 have to get out of their favourite domain and have to face the real world by staying outside of their families in case of study.
To conclude
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, I strongly agree with the view that the benefits of living in different
cities
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 for study purposes outweigh the demerits obviously and the practice should be popular to make the
students
Use synonyms
 more strong mentally.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs contribute equally to your argument. The first body paragraph could be slightly expanded for a more balanced essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames the discussion.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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