Some people feel that the legal age which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is commonly believed by some people that being at least 21 is a fundamentally pivotal requirement for a couple who wants to marry.
Although
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age
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has no influence in life after
marriage
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to some extent, I completely agree that being mature enough both physically and mentally is a key point of a successful
marriage
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. First of all, one predominant reason why couples need to be at least 21 years old before
marriage
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is
due to
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the physical condition of reproduction organs.
In other words
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, having a baby, which is a life goal for nearly every spouse, requires a healthy and robust reproductive system of a mother
that is
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generally to be found at the adolescence stage. To illustrate, a teen mother who gave birth with an underdeveloped womb tends to have a weaker baby condition.
As a result
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, several health problems will likely appear as the baby grows up.
Secondly
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, being mentally ready is
also
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a prominent factor for
marriage
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, which is mostly to be found at the
age
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of 21 or above.
For instance
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, a teen husband tends to give priority to his own interests and disregard his wife’s desire,
thus
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leading to toxic relationships.
In addition
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, being toxic can be hard for couples to handle in a relationship and frequently leads to divorce cases. these two reasons seem convincing enough to support
age
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restriction for
marriage
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. In conclusion, being physiologically and physically mature is believed to be the key to a happy
marriage
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. If society implemented the restriction by the
age
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of 21 or more in a
marriage
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proposal, the divorce case would soon drop.
Submitted by IELTS_8 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt, but there is some lack of clarity in expressing the writer's opinion. The essay should focus more on discussing the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement based on the given prompt.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure and presents some supporting points, but the introduction and conclusion are weak. Additionally, the examples provided could be more relevant and specific to the main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
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