IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Your friend has asked you to help him/her to find a music teacher for his/her child. Write a letter to your friend that you have found a suitable teacher. In your letter, you should tell: what experience the teacher has why you think he/she is suitable how to get in touch with the teacher. write 150 words

#friend #find #music #teacher #child #touch
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Dear Sumit, I hope
this
 letter finds you in radiant health and the best of spirits. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about an experienced
music
 tutor for your children.
Last
 week, after visiting your home, you were worried about your son because he wants to learn
music
 and you requested to find a good trainer. Suddenly, one of my sisters called and congrats me about she won a
music
 competition on the international level. Her name is Sunil Prasant, passed her master's from PU University and has around 5 years of teaching skills. She is suitable for Rohn because she likes to teach little children with love and care. I messaged her yesterday and told her about your son. She is ready to give him classes at your place in the evening.
Also
, she has plenty of knowledge about the history of
music
 and instruments which would help to create interest.
As well as
, being an expert teacher, she can teach dance too. I am sending her name, contact and email address so, you can talk with her. She is very nice and helpful. Definitely, both of you like her behaviour and teaching abilities. Hope to hear a prompt response from your side regarding
this
 matter. Yours lovingly, Raman Sharma
Submitted by harmandeep51075 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider rephrasing certain parts of your letter to avoid repetition and improve clarity. For example, instead of 'to find a good trainer', use 'to find a skilled music instructor.'
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Adding transitional phrases can help. For instance, 'Firstly,' or 'Additionally,' at the beginning of paragraphs can guide the reader through your points more fluidly.
task achievement
Make sure to use consistent tenses throughout your letter. For instance, 'congratulated' instead of 'congrats' to ensure formality and accuracy.
task achievement
You provided all necessary information: the teacher's experience, suitability, and contact details.
suitable writing tone
The letter maintains a friendly and helpful tone, which is appropriate for writing to a friend.
greeting and closing
The structure of the letter is clear, with a proper greeting and closing.
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