IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose
There are
people
 who believe that museums can be
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an
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enjoyable
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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. Whereas, the other population thought that it is an informative
place
 where
people
 can gain a lot of knowledge.
Moreover
, the museum can be a
place
 of enjoying the surroundings and is a
place
 where
people
 get to know about the culture of certain
people
 like how they used to live and what kind of clothes they used to wear.
Furthermore
, it gives information about the daily schedules which they used to follow. It illustrates the sacrifices and compromises which had been done by the
people
 of that particular time.
Moreover
, the museum has a vital link to the history of that particular
place
.
However
, in recent years,
people
 are much occupied by work as they do not have time to know about the precious activities or agitations which had been taking
place
 in the following countries. As result, they do not have any information about the culture in which they are and cannot deliver to the
next
 generation. So, the museum can be a good choice to visit as it keeps us aware of the essence of the
people
.
Moreover
, every country has its own history where
people
 have suffered a lot of pain and grief. To illustrate, Adolf Hitler was the leader in Germany who used to abduct the Jewish population and sent them to concentration camps which resulted in death. In conclusion, I believe that museums can be
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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place
 where
people
 can enjoy themselves and can gather information about important technicalities about the country and the particular region.
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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