IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people beleive that nowadays we have too many choices. to what extent do you agree or disagree withthis statement.

#people #beleive #choices #withthis
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Nowadays, in a materialistic society, companies provide too many varieties of
choices
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 to their consumer. In my opinion, I can not disagree more that
people
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 in our society will gain any advantages from too many
choices
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. When
people
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 have the freedom
choices
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, it is good for them.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 have too many
choices
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; it does not appear the same outcome.
For example
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, a local coffee shop provides only their local beans;
in contrast
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, a large chain company
such
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 as Starbucks provide many varieties of beans from around the world
such
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 as from Brazil, Myanmar, or Thailand to their customer. According to
this
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 situation, consumers may buy coffee from large companies rather than local shops because of its variety.
Moreover
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, some restaurants sell only Thai cuisine, but other restaurants sell a variety of foods.
As a result
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,
people
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 will be interested to buy food from the
second
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 restaurant
instead
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 of the Thai restaurant. A business will benefit from
this
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 situation.
For example
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, the provider will get more variety of customers, more selling rates, and others.
However
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, there are many reasonable hidden drawbacks when buying a product with too many overload
choices
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 will lose their time because they have to choose the best product for them;
on the other hand
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, they might have a better option to try other products.
Secondly
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, some
people
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 might lose a large amount of their money because they might have an idea to buy all of those
choices
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 to try.
As a result
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, they will not lose an opportunity to try those
choices
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. To sum up, there are many striking points that business will be more beneficial to
this
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 situation than individual consumers, so we should not give most of our interest to materialism.
People
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 should consider more in quality of the product not the quantity of it
Submitted by Thanagid423 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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