Some people think the best way to improve road safety is to increase minimum legal age for driving cars and motorcycles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, the increasing
traffic
Correct quantifier usage
number of traffic
show examples
accidents
have caused many deaths and injure injuries. Some people think that if the
government
 increase increases the minimum legal age for driving,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road safety will be improve improved. I disagree with the opinion and 
i
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 I consider that some more significant policies leading to safety should be set by the
government
.
Although
there is an element of truth in the opinion, as the impulse younger invariably
drive
Correct subject-verb agreement
drives
show examples
faster than the steady older indeed, 
however
overspeed
Change the capitalization
Overspeed
show examples
 
overspeed
Change the capitalization
Overspeed
show examples
 is a mere partial reason giving rise to the
traffic
 
traffic
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
 
accidents
Nevertheless
, if the
government
 increase increases the minimum legal age for driving cars, it will cause those who should have had
Correct article usage
the rights
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to drive 
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
 to not 
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
 
have
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
one, which will make cause trouble for them in daily 
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 life. On one hand, 
i
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 I think the
government
should extend the time when the learners are trained in driving school to improve their driving skill skills, for better driving skill skills will make them become more experienced. Needless to say, the more experienced the drivers are the fewer the
traffic
 
traffic
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
 
accidents
will occur, which 
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
 has been confirmed by experts from 
traffic
 the
traffic
 department. 
For instance
, if emergency circumstance circumstances happened on 
motorway
Add an article
the motorway
a motorway
show examples
 the motorway, a new driver would bewilder, contributing to a terrible
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
. On 
another
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
 the other hand, the
government
should set
special
Add an article
the special
a special
show examples
policy to limit tired driving severely, for the reason that according to the statistics almost
half
Add a hyphen
half-serious
show examples
serious
Change preposition
of serious
show examples
 accident 
accidents
 happening on highway highways were caused by the exhausted driver who had been steering several for several hours. 
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 
For
Add the comma(s)
, For
show examples
 example, a person having driven three hours must come to a halt for a rest and a trucker cannot drive on highway the highway after 3 am. I think the road 
road
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
 safety will improve if these policies are launched by the
government
.
Submitted by 185584258 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • road safety
  • driving/riding
  • maturity
  • decision-making abilities
  • risky behavior
  • graduated driving programs
  • extended learning periods
  • strict testing
  • continuous education
  • advanced driver training
  • traffic laws enforcement
  • advanced driver-assistance systems (ADAS)
  • accidents reduction
  • statistical evidence
  • real-world examples
  • public awareness campaigns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: