There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this have led to significant improvements in peoples live. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Over the
last
few decades, the majority of individuals' work has been easier compared to past times
due to
the development of novel technological advancements.
Subsequently
,
this
improvement has been affected drastically people's lives. I partially agree with
this
idea that it has both negative and positive implications in today's lifestyles.
To begin
with, first and foremost, a vast number of technology
devices
are increasingly developing day by day, and they have numerous merits for us.
Such
as
robots
, they do people's household chores ,
for instance
, cleaning, vacuuming, and, washing. After their hustle and bustle work shift, fulfilled tasks might give more of a feeling of comfort .
Furthermore
,
therefore
being tireless workers, they make fewer mistakes rather than individuals,
however
,
robots
have led to enhanced human capabilities. A sense of cosiness is promoted by using these
devices
exceedingly by people.
On the other hand
, the improvements of advancements
as well as
bring a little drawback with them.
This
can cause a decline tendency of employment rates for humans if
this
trend continues to be serious. After enhancing sophisticated technologies humans are going to be replaced in certain jobs by
robots
and will experience unemployment.
To sum up
, the obvious conclusion to be drawn is that, not only technology
devices
as well as
robots
and other advancements affect undoubtedly our work-life balance. Unless humans can prevent the use of
devices
from deteriorating
further
, it will have precisely undesirable consequences more than positive aspects and become serious in the future.
Submitted by feruzayla2006 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a balanced analysis by providing equal emphasis on both positive and negative aspects. Consider dedicating similar lengths to each side of the argument to maintain balance.
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Work on paragraph structure to ensure that each main idea is clearly stated at the beginning of the paragraph and is followed by supporting sentences. This helps in achieving a more logical and coherent flow of ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to add sophistication and depth to your writing. Complex sentences, when used appropriately, can enhance the readability and persuasiveness of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic, acknowledging both merits and demerits of technological advances.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your discussion effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is logically organized, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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