IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think the primary purpose of schools is to turn the children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Good quality education is a key to one’s success in the various facets of
life
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.
Also
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,
schools
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 play a vital role in imparting the required knowledge to benefit an individual in
this
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 world. It is agreed that educational institutions can leverage a person to attain his or her potential, rather than merely turning them to be efficient workers or obedient citizens. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I shall explore the opinion as to why
schools
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 should bring out better individuals than average joes.
Firstly
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,
schools
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 are places where students benefit each other.
For example
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, studies clearly show that kids learn about various aspects
such
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 as patience, teamwork, collaboration etc through their peers and stimulating learning environments.
This
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 will undoubtedly help children during their growing phase and later in
life
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.
Therefore
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, many
schools
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 aim to place great emphasis on these values for their young learners.
Secondly
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, children learn
life
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-long skills that set a foundation for their
life
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.
In other words
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, interpersonal skills are important as any other job-oriented skills since more and more employers look for people with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
broader skillset and an adaptive mindset. Alternatively, adults with deeper understanding and knowledge always find it easier to live
life
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 with rules and clarity. To sum it up, educational institutions have a greater role in creating socially aware citizens and a strong community than chewing out mere minds.
Schools
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 should take advantage of
this
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 responsibility to bring a world full of individuals who believe in themselves and make it a better place to live.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social responsibility
  • foundational knowledge
  • career success
  • economic contribution
  • personal development
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • balanced education
  • community well-being
  • holistic education
  • academic and personal growth
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