IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose.Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #sport
Around the world, dangerous and adventurous
sports
 are garnering popularity among the younger generation. Some
people
 believe these
sports
 should be banned at the global level
while
 others believe it should be a personal choice of the
people
. In
this
 essay, I will go through both sides and present my opinion.
To begin
 with, the young generation wants to be at the edge of their life. They choose to play dangerous
sports
 to overcome fear.
For instance
, a recent survey was conducted in India to check the reason why
people
 like to play Jallikaatu, an adventurous sport. The common answers received were that they feel energized,
motivated
Correct word choice
and motivated
show examples
, for entertainment and to overcome fear. For all these reasons, these
sports
 should be open for personal choices.
On the other hand
, these
sports
 are harmful to an individual's body. Injuries and bruises are very common and sometimes a mishap leads to death.
For instance
, In Uttarakhand, India river rafting
sports
 are very popular. In the month of December 2021, there was a rafting accident reported by news channels nationwide. The two rafts hit each other so badly that one of the boats capsized.
Additionally
, the strong waves swamped the
people
 and most of them died. The rescue team couldn't find the bodies for nearly three days. For all these reasons, these
sports
 are very dangerous for
people
 and they could sustain injuries and deaths.
To conclude
, dangerous
sports
 should be allowed and legalized at the global level and it should be left to
people
 to make their own choices.
However
, safety measures should be implemented without compromising the fun involved in playing these
sports
.
Submitted by minto.thomas2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay respond to the task prompt, and provide a clear opinion with supporting points.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be more detailed and clearly present the main points and the author's opinion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: