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Band 6

Student should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#student #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
Some would believe spending governmental money on every graduate is not fruitful for the whole society and students should pay their own school or college payments. As a former university member of my country, I genuinely comprehend the challenge of providing all the money for every citizen studying at different levels,
therefore
 I completely disagree with the mentioned idea. In most situations, intellectuals tend to emigrate to prosperous destinations guaranteeing their future and even their children and families. An example could be scholars of East Asia preferring to vast their knowledge and science in European or American countries one after other. It could be considered a golden chance
to take
Verb problem
apply
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for the people not being valued in their origin hometowns, based on
this
, the governments rather not accept the numerous payments for the youngster's education. It seems an inevitable event happening among most of the current nations which graduate not attending related jobs in the future to what their field of study is, increasing and society decision-makers are reluctant to pay for students' schools. There are preventive reasons for
this
 unsupportive behaviour two of the whole were mentioned here.
Although
 the huge burden is the financial matters for individuals, the societies are built up on every single person whose acts influence the whole country and the consequences are demonstrated by all individuals.
For example
, South African countries are mostly not supported by their government and the intellectuals would feel more accomplished if they leave for a more fortunate place. In conclusion, undeniable obstacles(emigration or changing fields and working in an unrelated one) are the main reasons education costs are not paid,
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
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 the most essential factor in a country's success is investing in scholars.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the prompt, expressing disagreement with the idea that students should pay the full cost of their education. Make sure to stay focused on discussing the extent to which you agree or disagree throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened by clearly stating your position on the topic in the introduction and summarizing your main points in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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