IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In today’s job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#today’s #job #market #skills #future #applicants #qualifications
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In modern society, soft
skills
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 in the job market appear to be held in so high regard that many people assume that academic
knowledge
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 may become unnecessary in the near
future
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. From my perspective, I oppose
this
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 idea because of the importance of formal qualifications.
To begin
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 with, it is undeniable that social
skills
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 have a vital place in seeking a good job. These
skills
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 including teamwork and time management contribute to enhancing the productivity of the work.
For example
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, an excellent sales assistant will be able to know how to communicate with customers effectively, resulting in better sales than others who have limited scholarly cognition. Even managers should
also
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 learn about leadership so that they can manage their staff efficiently.
Thus
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, adaptability is vital as the world is changing requiring more experience than before.
On the other hand
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, the need for social
skills
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 is unparalleled in denying academic proficiency.
On the contrary
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, educational wisdom is more and more crucial in the modern world.
In other words
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, it is a foundation which helps individuals analyze what is right or wrong and know how to solve problems.
Also
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, labourers may have more innovations
while
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 working and studying, particularly in modern society. To illustrate that, with the dominance of technology, it is possible that robots will replace the workforce one day, leaving a number of workers redundant. Without
knowledge
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, people are just “empty vessels that make the most noise” and hardly create value for employers. Teachers are another example of the necessity of theoretical understanding. A teacher who has limited educational proficiency cannot transfer
knowledge
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 to students, which may lead to serious consequences for students’
future
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.
Last
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 but not least,
this
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 kind of
knowledge
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 provides the ability to predict
future
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 figures and
then
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 navigate organizations to be on the right track. In conclusion,
while
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 soft
skills
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 are vital to employees in some ways, academic understanding plays a vital role in the development of an organization in general and staff
in particular
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.
As a result
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, each person should absorb both sorts of
knowledge
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 to step toward a brighter
future
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 with more opportunities.
Submitted by bichngoc.ngochoa on

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task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the benefits of practical skills while arguing for the importance of theoretical knowledge. This can make your argument appear more comprehensive and less one-sided.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and consistent use of linking phrases between paragraphs to maintain the flow of your essay. For example, phrases like 'However,' 'Moreover,' and 'Therefore' can aid in making the transitions smoother.
coherence cohesion
There are a few awkward phrases and minor grammatical errors. Reviewing these can enhance the overall readability of your essay. Consider taking some time to proofread before submission.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a well-structured response with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your use of relevant examples, such as the sales assistant and teachers, effectively supports your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt thoroughly, making a strong case for the importance of theoretical knowledge alongside practical skills.
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