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Writing Samples
Band 5

Recently, there has been an increase in using machines to carry out the work instead of humans to do so. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of this development.

#machines #work #humans #development
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Recently, there has been an increase in using
machines
 to carry out the
work
instead
 of
humans
 to do so.
This
 essay will discuss the pros and cons of
this
 development. The main advantage of using
machines
 to carry out
work
 is a reduction in the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 cost for employers and there is a marginal or zero fault tolerance in the finishing
work
.
For instance
, heavy
work
 like lifting machinery parts, and packages in logistics involves a number of worker strengths and requires substantial time.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 using
machines
 to move around the parts and packages makes it quick and cuts down labor costs with a one-time investment.
Secondly
, some industries require
humans
 to be exposed to radiation, chemicals, and testing automobiles.
This
 could come with a cost of a human life as it needs to be tested by them for the product deliverables. To illustrate, automobile tests require
humans
 to drive them in various conditions carrying out
such
 tests frequently might affect their health like chronic pain or neck pain which causes severe nerve damage. Using
machines
 under
such
 circumstances improves
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 safety
Consequently
, introducing equipment to carry out tasks
instead
 of
humans
 might adversely affect the employment rate in society. Since it will be replacing
humans
 to finish the tasks at high precision and leaving no space for error.
Also
,
this
 introduces more competition to survive against these and creates disturbance and uncertainty in society.
Submitted by nlchiranth11 on

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coherence cohesion
Include a clear conclusion to sum up the discussion. This will help in giving a well-rounded response.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve logical flow by using more transitional phrases and connecting ideas smoothly between paragraphs.
task achievement
Elaborate more on your main points to make your arguments stronger and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to back up your statements and make your arguments more convincing.
relevant highlight
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of using machines instead of humans, which indicates a balanced discussion.
relevant highlight
The main points are relevant to the topic, and the essay explains them clearly.
specific example highlight
The use of specific examples such as lifting machinery parts and driving tests under various conditions adds value to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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