In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison.
Nowadays, the rate of
crimes
in the world is increasing rapidly and there are many different opinions on the best way to reduce crime. Someone argues that improving life and concentrate
on Wrong verb form
concentrating
education
are the long-term solutions to cutting crimes
instead
of putting more people
into
Change preposition
in
prison
. Besides
that, increasing the number of streets
police is not Change the noun form
street
effective
way. I am Add an article
an effective
also
convinced with
their opinions.
Change preposition
by
Firstly
, most of
Change preposition
apply
people
think that the reason to commit Add an article
the people
crime
is poverty. As we know, money is not everything, but it is something very important. Because of sustaining their lives, they need to have a lot of cash. Of course, if they do not have any job to able to find out a survey way, they will be easy to commit. Add an article
a crime
the crime
For instance
, these are crimes
for money such
as:
Remove the comma
apply
murdering
, smuggling, Replace the word
murder
robbering
, thieves, grabbing and so on. Definitely, not only do we need to improve Correct your spelling
robbery
robbers
the
life and escape poverty but Correct article usage
apply
also
focus on education
. There is no denying that education
is crucial for human behaviour. When Correct your spelling
people
peple
learn Correct your spelling
people
right
things, justice or how to treat others with calm and respect, they tend to do Correct article usage
the right
Correct your spelling
positive
possitive
activities. Correct your spelling
positive
Education
gives them the skills to get a job when they leave prison
, which means Correct your spelling
that
thay
they will probably not re-offend. Correct your spelling
that
Expecially
, by learning punishment, Correct your spelling
Especially
people
can do the right things. Therefore
, criminals should be taken part in working
community. Correct article usage
the working
Although
people
may be in the prison
, they also
feel they are doing useful work. Perhaps changing their mind. Simultanrously
, it is not Correct your spelling
Simultaneously
Correct your spelling
necessary
neccesary
that Correct your spelling
necessary
having
more police on the street since Wrong verb form
have
Correct your spelling
government
Correct article usage
the govement
govement
should use the money to concentrate on Correct your spelling
government
Correct your spelling
educational
educationnal
opportunities.
Correct your spelling
educational
On the other hand
, some people
agree that long prison
sentences are right because the punishment should fit the crime. Examples with some rich people
. Although
someone do
not have a poor life, they still commit Change the verb form
does
the
Correct article usage
apply
crimes
. Basicly
, Correct your spelling
Basically
behavior
is driven by genetic and Change the spelling
behaviour
Correct your spelling
environmental
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
factor
. Because of living in a good house, Fix the agreement mistake
factors
people
think preparing the
future is not Change preposition
for the
Correct your spelling
necessary
neccesary
, so it Correct your spelling
necessary
seem
easy for them to come to Change the verb form
seems
bad
world. They may be Correct article usage
a bad
high level
criminals. Add a hyphen
high-level
Beside
that, for Change preposition
Besides
suatuation
during doing social work, they take an opportunity to escape. Correct your spelling
situation
People
also
Correct your spelling
believe
belive
that cutting the number of street police significantly reduces Correct your spelling
believe
people
's fear of prison
and consequently
.
In conclusion, I agree that attack
the causes of Replace the word
attacking
such
as poverty and focus
on Wrong verb form
focusing
education
are two effective ways to reduce crimes
. Beside
that, it is important to understand that some Replace the word
Besides
people
are the
real danger to society and need to stay in Correct article usage
a
prison
for a very long time.Submitted by shin.le1988 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!