In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison.

#crime #attack #poverty #lack #opportunities #police #street #people #prison

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Nowadays, the rate of

crimes

Use synonyms

in the world is increasing rapidly and there are many different opinions on the best way to reduce crime. Someone argues that improving life and

concentrate

Wrong verb form

concentrating

show examples

education

Use synonyms

are the long-term solutions to cutting

crimes

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instead

Linking Words

of putting more

people

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into

Change preposition

show examples

prison

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

that, increasing the number of

streets

Change the noun form

street

show examples

police is not

effective

Add an article

an effective

show examples

way. I am

also

Linking Words

convinced

with

Change preposition

show examples

their opinions.

Firstly

Linking Words

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

people

Add an article

the people

show examples

think that the reason to commit

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

is poverty. As we know, money is not everything, but it is something very important. Because of sustaining their lives, they need to have a lot of cash. Of course, if they do not have any job to able to find out a survey way, they will be easy to commit.

For instance

Linking Words

, these are

crimes

Use synonyms

for money

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

murdering

Replace the word

murder

show examples

, smuggling,

robbering

Correct your spelling

robbery

robbers

, thieves, grabbing and so on. Definitely, not only do we need to improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life and escape poverty but

also

Linking Words

focus on

education

Use synonyms

. There is no denying that

education

Use synonyms

is crucial for human behaviour. When

Correct your spelling

people

peple

Correct your spelling

people

learn

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

things, justice or how to treat others with calm and respect, they tend to do

Correct your spelling

positive

possitive

Correct your spelling

positive

activities.

Education

Use synonyms

gives them the skills to get a job when they leave

prison

Use synonyms

, which means

Correct your spelling

that

thay

Correct your spelling

that

they will probably not re-offend.

Expecially

Correct your spelling

Especially

, by learning punishment,

people

Use synonyms

can do the right things.

Therefore

Linking Words

, criminals should be taken part in

working

Correct article usage

the working

show examples

community.

Although

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

may be in the

prison

Use synonyms

, they

also

Linking Words

feel they are doing useful work. Perhaps changing their mind.

Simultanrously

Correct your spelling

Simultaneously

, it is not

Correct your spelling

necessary

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

that

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

more police on the street since

Correct your spelling

government

Correct article usage

the govement

show examples

govement

Correct your spelling

government

should use the money to concentrate on

Correct your spelling

educational

educationnal

Correct your spelling

educational

opportunities.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

agree that long

prison

Use synonyms

sentences are right because the punishment should fit the crime. Examples with some rich

people

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Although

Linking Words

someone

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not have a poor life, they still commit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes

Use synonyms

Basicly

Correct your spelling

Basically

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is driven by genetic and

Correct your spelling

environmental

enviromental

Correct your spelling

environmental

factor

Fix the agreement mistake

factors

show examples

. Because of living in a good house,

people

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think preparing

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

future is not

Correct your spelling

necessary

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

, so it

seem

Change the verb form

seems

show examples

easy for them to come to

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

world. They may be

high level

Add a hyphen

high-level

show examples

criminals.

Beside

Change preposition

Besides

show examples

that, for

suatuation

Correct your spelling

situation

during doing social work, they take an opportunity to escape.

People

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that cutting the number of street police significantly reduces

people

Use synonyms

's fear of

prison

Use synonyms

and

consequently

Linking Words

. In conclusion, I agree that

attack

Replace the word

attacking

show examples

the causes of

such

Linking Words

as poverty and

focus

Wrong verb form

focusing

show examples

education

Use synonyms

are two effective ways to reduce

crimes

Use synonyms

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

that, it is important to understand that some

people

Use synonyms

are

the

Correct article usage

show examples

real danger to society and need to stay in

prison

Use synonyms

for a very long time.

Submitted by shin.le1988 on Fri Nov 11 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

438 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

root causes of crime
criminal behavior
legitimate economic opportunities
enhancing educational opportunities
skills and qualifications
job prospects
economic disparities
social programs
economic empowerment
police presence
deter criminal activities
underlying issues
prison sentences
rehabilitate criminals
comprehensive rehabilitation programs
community-building efforts
social services
supportive environment
discourages criminal behavior

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In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison.

Your opinion

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue can be solved?

Some believes that professional, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

All children should study a foreign language in school starting in the earliest grades. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

All cars that bruns fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.