Nowadays, young people are admiring media and sport stars, even though they do not set a good example. do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #media #sport #stars #development

These days the admiration of

media

and

sports

stars

role

models

is gaining popularity among adolescents.

Nevertheless

, some

people

adhere to the belief that these

stars

cannot set an appropriate example. I opine that

this

attitude can have both positive and negative impacts. On the one hand, what admiring

sports

and

media

do is encourage young

people

to become successful in their

life

This

stems from the fact that younger

people

are at the beginning of their

life

and they can harness different plans for their future.

Thus

, choosing successful

stars

role

models

could aid them to accomplish success.

For instance

, when athlete young generations follow Olympic champions and observe how these

people

are successful and popular in their field, they strive to become like them and can set their goals based on their

role

models

. That’s how admiring

stars

can assist young

people

to achieve accomplishments in their

life

. Albeit admiring

stars

and following their behaviour is advantageous to some extent, it has a negative impact as well. Admiring

sports

and

media

stars

can give rise to that negative trait of

stars

could

Correct pronoun usage

that could

show examples

become highlighted for young

people

rather than positive ones.

This

is rooted in the fact that younger

people

are not mature enough to tell apart and differentiate the positive and negative behaviour of

stars

precisely.

Accordingly

, a negative effect can become bold and seem to adversely affect the younger

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

life

For example

media

stars

appear to smoke a cigarette or drink alcohol for snapping photos,

this

negative trait can encourage young

people

to kick off smoking which can adversely influence them. Setting

stars

role

models

consequently

, can have a negative impact on young

people

. In conclusion, admiring

media

and

sports

stars

can encourage young

people

to acquire achievements in their

life

However

, following these

sports

can have negative effects as well among which bolding the negative traits rather than positive traits can be one of them.

Submitted by saeedhydari1376 on Sat Nov 12 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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