IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Your office building doesn’t have enough parking spaces. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: · explain the problem · suggest a solution · say why more parking spaces would benefit all employees

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
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 letter to inform you regarding the lack of efficient and convenient parking facilities at our office building. As you know , most of our employees have their own vehicles. Unfortunately, the office's parking
area
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 is not enough to accommodate all the staff's vehicles. Two-wheelers can be easily parked in the parking
area
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. But
,
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 parking is extremely difficult for the four-wheelers. The staff park their cars outside the building-compound nearby the main road. It
also
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 causes some traffic congestion on the main road. So, it is necessary to arrange a new parking
area
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 on the back side of the office building
as
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, as
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 it is left as an unusable
area
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 by dumping lots of rubbish materials. If it is cleared and modified as a parking
area
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, it will be beneficial for our staff to accommodate their vehicles conveniently. I would be grateful if you could make arrangements for the new parking
area
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. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Rahul

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add one more clear point on how all workers will save time and feel less stress.
task response
Task response: Keep the tone polite all the way. This is good, but a few lines can sound more natural and direct.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are clear and easy to follow. Try to link them with simple words like 'because', 'so', and 'also' in a smoother way.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: One paragraph can focus only on the problem, and one can focus only on the solution and benefits.
task response
Task response: You cover the problem, give a solution, and explain the benefit for workers.
task response
Task response: The tone is polite and right for a letter to a manager.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear opening, body, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each part has one main idea, so the reader can follow your letter well.
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