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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #units #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france #report #university #lecturer #information #comparisons
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The graphs compare the change in the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 generated by five sorts of fuel sources in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 in two different years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
coal generated
Add a hyphen
coal-generated
show examples
most of the
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 produced most of that in
France
Use synonyms
. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 produced
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these two countries
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
saw a remarkable increase.
According to
Linking Words
 the graphs, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 produced by coal was the highest in
Australia
Use synonyms
 with a significant increase from 50 to 130
units
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for
France
Use synonyms
 remained at 25
units
Use synonyms
. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 generated by nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 was highest in
France
Use synonyms
 with an approximately nine-fold growth from 1980,
while
Linking Words
 no nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 was used to produce
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
. A marked decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 generated by natural gas can be seen in both countries. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 produced by oil decreased from 10
units
Use synonyms
 to
2units
Correct your spelling
2 units
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the figure
Use synonyms
France
Change preposition
in France
show examples
 showed
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opposite trend.
This
Linking Words
 opposite trend
also
Linking Words
 can be seen in the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
power
Use synonyms
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, electricity, australia, france, power, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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