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Writing Samples
Band 7

Today more and more people are overweight than before. What, in your opinion, are the primary causes of this? What are main effects of this epidemic

#people #effects #epidemic
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Obesity
Use synonyms
 is one of the most controversial topics worldwide these days, and some individuals opine that the number of fat
people
Use synonyms
 has dramatically increased. I will examine the reasons and consequences of
this
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 widespread phenomenon and provide a logical conclusion in
this
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 essay. In my opinion, junk
food
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 and
also
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food
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 which require much oil for cooking can be described as the
first
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 and foremost factor for
obesity
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 which is directly related to an unhealthy lifestyle.
In other words
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,
people
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 tend to consume various types of fast
food
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 because they are in a hurry and usually lack adequate time to prepare healthy
food
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.
For example
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, as a quality control manager, I am always in a short time and typically order hamburgers for dinners, which, in long term, made me fatter than ever.
Moreover
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, the
second
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 reason can be inactivity at work, leading to a noticeable decrease in metabolism secretion
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is a prerequisite for
obesity
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, by sitting behind the laptop for long hours,
body
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the body
show examples
 can simply recreate itself and forget to secrete any chemicals which can help to stay slimmer and fitter. The potential side effects of
such
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 a condition can be clarified as varied types of illnesses, namely blood pressure, heart attack, and some cancers. In simple terms,
obesity
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 is the hidden factor for many diseases resulting in death.
For example
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, scholars at the University of Tehran recently identified that
people
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 are at risk of heart attacks owing to ever-increasing
obesity
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 in the
last
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 decades.
Furthermore
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, physiological disorders
such
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 as depression have been remarkably uplifted among fat
people
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, and they, in turn, affect fat
people
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 more than others, leading to mental issues common nowadays. Overall, it is ultimately agreed that getting more fat could be directly related to unhealthy lifestyles and inactivity at work, which can lead to various types of physical and mental problems;
hence
Linking Words
, each person needs to eat more wisely and efficiently.
Submitted by arash.elahii on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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