IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers. Include a relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Taking
risks
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 is often seen as a necessary step toward progress and success, whether in personal relationships or professional pursuits.
While
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 it is true that risk-taking can lead to setbacks or failure, I strongly believe that the benefits of taking
risks
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 generally outweigh the drawbacks. In the professional world, individuals who take calculated
risks
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 are more likely to grow in their careers.
For example
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, switching jobs, starting a new business, or investing in unfamiliar opportunities can be daunting, but they often open doors to better financial rewards or personal satisfaction. A friend of mine left a secure job at a multinational company to start his own tech startup.
Initially
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, he faced challenges and uncertainty, but within two years, his company grew rapidly and is now one of the most promising in the region. Had he not taken that leap, he would have remained in a comfortable but limited position.
Similarly
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, in personal life, taking emotional or social
risks
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—like moving to a new country, ending an unfulfilling relationship, or pursuing a passion—can lead to long-term happiness.
Such
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 decisions may cause temporary discomfort, but they often result in personal growth, stronger self-awareness, and a more fulfilling life. Avoiding risk in these areas may seem safe but can lead to stagnation and regret. Of course, not all
risks
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 lead to success. Some may result in loss or disappointment.
However
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, even failure teaches valuable lessons and builds resilience, which is essential for future success. The key is to take informed
risks
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 rather than reckless ones. In conclusion,
although
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 risk-taking involves uncertainty and potential downsides, the advantages—
such
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 as growth, opportunity, and personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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—typically outweigh the disadvantages. A life without risk may be safe, but it is rarely extraordinary.

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Task Achievement
Your arguments are clear and you respond well to the task. Keep this level of completeness in future essays, but consider making sure each body paragraph only focuses on one main idea to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is structured well, with a good introduction, body, and conclusion. To further improve, consider using more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Your use of a personal example makes your argument convincing and relatable. This is a great strategy to connect with the reader and provides clear evidence for your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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