IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#schools
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In
few
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a few
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 nations,
increasing
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an increasing
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 number of
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middle-aged
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middle aged
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middle-aged
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 educated and working
people
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 are preferring to live with their
parents
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.
Although
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 there are
few
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a few
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 disadvantages like lack of
privacy
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 and independence, there are far more compelling advantages like taking
care
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 of elders and learning from their
experience
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, living in the same house as the
parents
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 in adulthood may lack
privacy
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 as adults. It is important for every grown-up person to have
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their
thier
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their
 personal space to flourish on their own. Choosing to live with
father
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a father
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 and mother even after education and finding
job
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a job
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 means sacrificing
the
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apply
show examples
privacy
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, as the
parents
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 will monitor their children's every step.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
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 living with their
parents
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 often complain that they lack
sense
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a sense
the sense
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 of independence. If
people
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 choose to live under one roof as their
parents
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, they always have to share and synchronize their plans with their
parents
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,
this
Linking Words
 might be an issue of concern for many
people
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. Turning to the advantages, almost every moral person would love to take
care
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 of their
parents
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 when they are adults and
earning
Wrong verb form
earn
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 money. It will be far more convenient if they live with their
parents
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,
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apply
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 so that they can take better
care
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 of them. Another, substantial benefit of sharing space with
parents
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 is that
,
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apply
show examples
 they often share their
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lifetime
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life-time
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lifetime
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 wisdom and
experience
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with
without
witht
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with
 their children, which is a priceless asset for anyone. Children can be greatly benefitted from the
experience
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 of their
parents
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. In conclusion, living with
parents
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 is becoming increasingly popular with educated and working adults in many countries. Despite of few disadvantages like having to compromise on
privacy
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 and individuality, advantages like
ability
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the ability
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 to take
care
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 of their
parents
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 in their old age and learning from their
experience
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 far
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outweigh
outweighs
outwiegh
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outweigh
 the disadvantages.
Submitted by dr.vinodvijje on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: