IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#educationalists #child #instrument
Today, we see most
children
 playing some sort of musical
instrument
 in schools, universities and kindergartens, but
this
 should not be forced on
children
. Some educators,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
state that every kid should be taught how to play an
instrument
 ,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 I completely disagree with the aforementioned point. The following essay will outline why it is not necessary for every child to learn an
instrument
.
To begin
 with, educators should allow
children
 to choose their desired musical instruments and if the child doesn’t like the
music
 they should not be forced because
this
 will lead kids to have high pressure, which can cause frustration and stress among them. As an example, youngsters will interact with musical gadgets since teachers forced them, but what will happen when they reach an age they could understand,
children
 will completely ignore the
music
 ,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 they will stop playing as soon as they can.
Therefore
, educationalists should allow
children
 to find their internal motivational skills or talents without providing them with negative reinforcement.
Secondly
, teaching
children
 how to play an
instrument
 even when they dislike makes their cognitive skills reduce and they will not engage in other learning activities efficiently and effectively. Since
music
 is exposing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 to multi-sensory experiences in their life, allowing them to slow procedures and steps will enhance their capabilities to engage with some sort of
instrument
.
Thirdly
, according to a research article published by an author 20% of
children
 are sensitive to
music
, which means
this
 can impact the long-term mood changes of
children
 if the educators forcefully teach them. To sum up, even though there are several benefits of
music
 for
children
, I completely disagree that kids should actively learn
music
 in their life, because forcing them for playing instruments will have serious consequences in the future,
such
 as high pressure and low cognitive development.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: