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Writing Samples
Band 7

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

#people #behaviors #situations #age #“peer #pressure”
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Nowadays youngsters are more engaged with their
friends
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 rather than their atomic families, so being affected by their other young
friends
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 is an inevitable issue. Even though there may be some special occasions when
such
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 effects are valuable, I will elaborate on why, I believe
such
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 effects often not only deteriorates the self-confidence of teenagers but
also
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 mislead them, especially students.
To begin
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 with, feeling self-esteem by teenagers is vulnerable to being hurt by the harmful friendship that they experience in
this
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 phase of their
life
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. In fact,
such
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 intensive could be the effect of acquiescence on a young man, or woman, that they afraid of being judged whenever they want to express their independent attitudes and take strategic decisions in their
life
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. To exemplify, I remember that during studying in high school, I used to allocate most of my time to solving tough discrete
mathematics
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 and calculus questions, rather than solving ordinary and regular problems.
However
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, to prevent myself from being judged by my classmate, I never talked with my teachers about my lack in
mathematics
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, so I lost a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take the National
Mathematics
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 Olympiad, which unfortunately led to many drawbacks in my prospective future career and scientific path.
Moreover
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, peer pressure could lead students to follow the mode of their
friends
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, which is somehow misleading for exceptional young men. In fact, from one side doing a blind mimicry from the way that accompanying
friends
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 are pursuing, maybe not be the solution for an individual, and on another side, being afraid of not being accepted from, or even being rejected, from the club of close
friends
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, due to making different strategic decision in
life
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, is stressful for youngsters. So ,unfortunately, young men become trapped by choosing a way of
life
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 that it's not their cup of tea. In my story of the National
Mathematics
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 Olympiad, in fact, I thought that in a case that I choose the Olympiad path rather than the normal path of my classmates, I will not only put
Add an article
a
the
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step in the wrong way but lost my network of close
friends
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. To conclude, parents should train youngsters so that do not be under the deteriorating influence of their fellow ages, though they should take care of their constructive friendships.
Submitted by alirezamaleky73 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • behaviors
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • social activities
  • risky behaviors
  • health and wellbeing
  • social skills development
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • empathy
  • individuality
  • independence
  • conformity
  • emotional well-being
  • mental well-being
  • self-esteem
  • negative consequences
  • positive influence
  • motivation
  • encouragement
  • sense of belonging
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