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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH PARENTS EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION AND GETTING JOBS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWIEGH DISADVANTAGES.

#countries #adults #parents #education #jobs #outwiegh
Relationship
Correct article usage
The relationship
show examples
 of
parents
 with their
children
 is a
god gifted
Add a hyphen
god-gifted
show examples
 entity. Some people believe that the
trend
 of adults living with their
parents
 has escalated over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. While after they have fulfilled their studies and started their careers. From my
perspective
Add a comma
,perspective
show examples
this
trend
 has plenty of merits but a few side effects as well. On the one hand, there are a variety of positive sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 living in a joint family system.
Firstly
, at the time when adults finish their studies and secure jobs,
parents
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 them the most.
This
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 crucial time for the
children
 to support them both financially and physically.
For example
, they need assistance in house chores
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 washing, shopping, cooking and even feeding.
Secondly
, serving
parents
 later in their
life
 gives us a feeling of satisfaction and
proudness
Replace the word
pride
show examples
. Which in turn leads to a friendly environment for our kids.
Thirdly
, it is a common observation that minors living in
an undivided families
Correct the article-noun agreement
an undivided family
undivided families
show examples
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to be more social and interactive. Which is very pivotal for their upcoming
life
.
In other
words
Add a comma
,words
show examples
children
 staying with a variety of family members are loving, caring, bold in communication and have
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
 issues.
On the other hand
,
this
trend
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a few drawbacks as well.
To begin
 with,
private
Add an article
the private
show examples
life
 of both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individual is compromised which is currently a very debatable issue.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 arguing among different family members
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 make the environment very uncomfortable and disturbed for the other living members.
Moreover
, spending
life
 with elders turns
children
 to become dependent and spoon
Correct your spelling
feed
feeding
feeded
Correct your spelling
fed
show examples
. To elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 point,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of individuals cannot progress in their practical
life
 without
support
Add an article
the support
show examples
 of the elder resulting in their lagging in future
life
. To sum up,
although
this
trend
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 negative sides, in my opinion living with
parents
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way more pros than living separately. It helps in establishing a strong relationship with the elders as well as
children
.
Therefore
, it should be encouraged.
Submitted by drsanaghani on

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