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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
Many believe that strict punishment
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 crime offenders may
work
 effectively. While I accept that
this
 can deter
criminals
 from committing crimes, I strongly believe that good character education may be a better solution. It is often argued that longer jail terms would be an effective deterrent. Many
people
 believe that offenders should be punished with long prison sentences because
this
 phenomenon can invoke fear among other
criminals
. .
In other words
, potential offenders would be afraid of losing their freedom for a large amount of time.
For example
, when someone is in prison, they are unable to spend time with their family and friends. Another fact to consider is that more time could be spent on educating and rehabilitating prisoners. . They could be provided with knowledge and skills,
such
 as vocational training or character education.
This
 would help them to find
work
 and lead a normal life when they are released.
However
, I would argue that there are more suitable methods for reducing crime rates. In fact, ensuring that all young
people
 are educated will lead to a significant reduction in future crime rates. Evidence shows that one of the most important findings in criminology is that a small minority of
people
 commit the majority of crimes. If those
people
 are well educated at an early age, they are more likely to become good citizens. Character education for young
people
such
 as competitive
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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, volunteering and youth social action,
to
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apply
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forging links with businesses and providing
work
 experience can nurture good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young adults.
In addition
, community service punishments should be given to petty
criminals
instead
 of capturing them. If convicted
criminals
 were forced to
work
 without pay,
this
 could benefit the community. It would
also
 save taxpayers’ money as housing prisoners is expensive.
Submitted by hanh.nguyenlehong on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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