Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The argument for
equal-
Correct article usage
an equal-punishment
show examples
punishment
policy is that proportionated
punishment
can guarantee
crime
prevention. Given the rational nature of human
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
which means they would weigh the benefits against risks,
crime
could be controlled by making
punishment
associated with a criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
more painful than the pleasure or benefits that could be derived from a criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
such
as robbery. In view of
this
deterrent effect, the
punishment
should solely be based upon the
crimes
per se other than the milieu of criminals,
therefore
refuting the idea that age could be the mitigating factor. Poverty is perhaps the most concrete
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
why people commit
crimes
. Economic deprivation is seen as a major instigator in
this
regard. In a country where economic deprivation is rampant, it is common for people to engage in criminal acts.
The hunger
Correct article usage
Hunger
show examples
and poor economic conditions are what make people prone to commit
crimes
. Another cause could be a lack of parental control. Parents who have
propensity
Add an article
a propensity
show examples
for
violence
predispose
children
to violent
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
As
Change preposition
Children
show examples
children
, after seeing the repeated and escalating domestic
violence
, may ‘embrace’
violence
as a common and acceptable method to solve interpersonal conflicts, which may prompt them to extend
such
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
to others. Drugs have always been highly criticized by critics. A person who is addicted to
Add an article
the drug
show examples
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
show examples
will at one point in time do something he/she isn’t supposed to do. Drug addicts are often unable to get rid of
addition
Correct your spelling
addiction
show examples
as a result
of which their life starts getting filled with bad habits. A poor lifestyle compels a person to adopt habits
which
Change preposition
from which
show examples
he/she should distance themselves from. For
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
, parents should set good examples for their
children
.
This
is because
that parents
Change the determiner
that parent
those parents
show examples
who usually get involved in aggressive
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
may predispose their
children
to
violence
, which may eventually lead to criminal
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. For
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, stringent regulations should be imposed on media content, content that
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
violence
and sexual harassment, because
children
are prone to imitate the
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, especially when the contextual situation is quite similar.
Crimes
can be effectively deterred by more invasive surveillance. Governments now have the capacity to install cameras in the physical world and watch individuals carefully online as well. As criminals are aware there is a
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
100%
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
they will be firmed and arrested,
crime
statistics in those areas are negligible.
This
reduction in
crime
due to an awareness of ubiquitous surveillance can
also
be extended to the online sphere, where law enforcement can monitor VPNs,
IP
Correct word choice
and IP
show examples
address
Fix the agreement mistake
addresses
show examples
to detect and trace illegal activity.
Nonetheless
, some juvenile delinquents, knowing that they would not receive
punishment
as heavy as adults do, commit violent
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
in a more brutal way. Certainly, there is a pressing need to formulate rules tailored with regard to the maturity of delinquents. Developed countries
such
as America have adopted
law
Add an article
a law
show examples
called “malic supplies the want of years”, whereby
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
juvenile offenders should be individually assessed as to whether they
areas
Correct your spelling
are as
show examples
mature and culpable as the typical adult violent offenders. If
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
delinquency is proven a
crime
with malice forethought, felonies with vicious influences and fatal consequences, albeit committed by adolescents, deserve appropriate penalties, even life imprisonment or capital penalties.
Submitted by 215612999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: