Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Everyone may experience a negative situation in their lives
such
Linking Words
as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
or
disappointing
Correct article usage
a disappointing
show examples
job they have to handle. Some
people
Use synonyms
believe the best we can do is to accept
while
Linking Words
others think it is better to upgrade that situation. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss both views and give my way of thinking about
this
Linking Words
issue. On one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
grateful for what
life
Use synonyms
has
offer
Change the verb form
offered
show examples
to them
although
Linking Words
there are so many circumstances they have to face. They think
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
problem as a part of
life
Use synonyms
and believe that God will give the best way out and protect them as well.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
with
this
Linking Words
notion
usually
Add a missing verb
are usually
show examples
not brave enough to take a risk to make an improvement.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
with low economic
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
do not want to upgrade themselves because they think it
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
waste
Add an article
a waste
show examples
of time and money or even
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
their financial condition worse than before.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others argue that we have to make our situations better and improve our quality of
life
Use synonyms
as the way we are being grateful for
life
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
so many chances that we can try and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
upgrade our skills that can help us to create a successful path that
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
a hard worker person.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
with a high quality of
life
Use synonyms
not only can make a better
life
Use synonyms
for themselves but
also
Linking Words
can help other
people
Use synonyms
and make it more meaningful. In conclusion, I believe we should try to make an improvement in our
life
Use synonyms
because sometimes we have to
being
Change the form of the verb
be
show examples
risky to get a better experience in
life
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, with a developing skill we can survive in any
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
and easily face any challenges.
Submitted by hafizahnazir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents both views on the topic and provides a clear opinion, which is good for task achievement. However, it would benefit from more detailed and specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally clear and logically organized. Make sure to link your ideas with appropriate cohesive devices to enhance coherence. Using transition words more effectively will help create clearer connections between ideas.
general advice
Be careful with grammar and word choice. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly impede readability. Working on sentence structure and ensuring grammatical accuracy will improve clarity.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both views, which is essential for a high task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, setting the stage for your discussion and neatly wrapping up your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: