Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A considerable quantity of
children
suffer from obesity in recent times. It has several reasons: fast foods ,
lifestyle
Correct word choice
and lifestyle
show examples
issues.There are a number of solutions which can resolve fatness among young people. Fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
is one of the
Correct your spelling
serious
serius
Correct your spelling
serious
problems
Correct your spelling
throughout
through
throught
Correct your spelling
throughout
the world.
Resarchs
Correct your spelling
Research
Researches
Researchers
show that about 1 of every 5
children
afflicted
Add a missing verb
are afflicted
show examples
by obesity in America. A normal
person ‘
Change noun form
person's
show examples
s body mass need to be between the ranges of the 85th and 95th percentile. While struggling with
this
problem
children
should be informed by schools and their parents. To help
children
develop healthy eating habits ,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
to add
Change the verb form
adding
show examples
plenty of vegetables ,
fruits
Correct word choice
and fruits
show examples
to daily meals is a helpful deed for
children
. Nowadays a large number of people sit behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers all day and play
computers
Change the noun form
computer
show examples
games or
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
so many meaningless videos. One of the ways to lessen
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fatness
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
children
, encourage them to
physical
Add a missing verb
do physical
show examples
activities. According to the
analysis
Add a comma
,analysis
show examples
a person should do 60 minutes
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day . Morning
walk
Fix the agreement mistake
walks
show examples
, playing football ,
basketball
Correct word choice
and basketball
show examples
would be one of the best choices for
this
problem . To sum up , presently, being obese is
headache
Add an article
a headache
show examples
for people. Humans are obliged to take care of yourselves and stay away the harmful foodstuffs
Submitted by manqanat1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: