Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Mobile
phones
have become widely used in recent years.
However
, these days scientists want to know the reasons for the alarming trend of increased consumption of smartphones by many youngsters
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and explore its ramifications on youths experiencing
this
. I believe that using mobile
phones
at a very young age could have detrimental effects on family relationships and
children
's mental health as well. To embark on, one of the main reasons why young generations use smartphones on a wide range is because of parents' preoccupation.
In other words
, when fathers and mothers are crowded with hectic work, they do not have enough time to communicate with their offspring.
This
can be witnessed in Egypt where many single mothers work at more than one job in order to secure a better life standard for their
children
.
Thus
it is recommended that guardians should dedicate more time to their offspring to avoid family relationship gaps.
Nevertheless
, mobiles could have deleterious effects on juveniles' cognitive skills. To illustrate, if young
children
use smartphones for a long time, they might develop mental problems.
For example
, research conducted by some psychologists at Cairo University, in Egypt, stated that 30 per cent of
children
who consumed mobile
phones
at a young age suffered from Autistic Spectrum.
Hence
, it can be said that
phones
could
be of
Verb problem
have
show examples
a damaging impact on youths' mentality. In conclusion,
after
this
essay has manifested the points above, it can be reiterated that busy caretakers might lead to the over-consumption of mobiles by their
children
, and
this
could have a negative effect on their mental status
as well as
the family relationship.
Submitted by poison.ivy.2010 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and focus. It should clearly state the writer's position on the issue and provide an overview of the main points to be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a generally complete response to the task, but it could benefit from a more balanced and nuanced discussion of the positive and negative aspects of children using smartphones. The response could also be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the points made.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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