Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Mobile
phones
have become widely used in recent years. However
, these days scientists want to know the reasons for the alarming trend of increased consumption of smartphones by many youngsters,
and explore its ramifications on youths experiencing Remove the comma
apply
this
. I believe that using mobile phones
at a very young age could have detrimental effects on family relationships and children
's mental health as well.
To embark on, one of the main reasons why young generations use smartphones on a wide range is because of parents' preoccupation. In other words
, when fathers and mothers are crowded with hectic work, they do not have enough time to communicate with their offspring. This
can be witnessed in Egypt where many single mothers work at more than one job in order to secure a better life standard for their children
. Thus
it is recommended that guardians should dedicate more time to their offspring to avoid family relationship gaps.
Nevertheless
, mobiles could have deleterious effects on juveniles' cognitive skills. To illustrate, if young children
use smartphones for a long time, they might develop mental problems. For example
, research conducted by some psychologists at Cairo University, in Egypt, stated that 30 per cent of children
who consumed mobile phones
at a young age suffered from Autistic Spectrum. Hence
, it can be said that phones
could be of
a damaging impact on youths' mentality.
In conclusion, Verb problem
have
after
this
essay has manifested the points above, it can be reiterated that busy caretakers might lead to the over-consumption of mobiles by their children
, and this
could have a negative effect on their mental status as well as
the family relationship.Submitted by poison.ivy.2010 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and focus. It should clearly state the writer's position on the issue and provide an overview of the main points to be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a generally complete response to the task, but it could benefit from a more balanced and nuanced discussion of the positive and negative aspects of children using smartphones. The response could also be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the points made.
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