Write about the following topic: A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoid stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience?
Discovering new methods of staying healthy has always been one of the most concerning issues in people's lives.
While
the basic strategies for being in good shape include eating well, eating nourished food, doing regular exercise, and reducing anxiety, other factors that affect our health
should not be neglected. In this
essay, I will elaborate on some of these approaches, which are popular among the people in my country, and provide some examples as well.
As can be seen, the rate of risk factors influencing our well-being is increasing more and more these days, resulting in lower general wellness in individuals. One of the most disadvantageous ones is the ever-increasing air pollution in overpopulated and industrial cities. Although
this
is a hot topic these days, few efforts have been conducted to rectify it. As a result
, more individuals tend to abandon their towns and migrate to the countryside to guarantee their physical health
. For instance
, a great number of people living in the capital city of my country have moved to the northern regions in order to lead a more robust life.
Besides
these significant elements, mental wellness is also
crucial on the grounds that it directly affects our physical health
. The more mentally stable we are, the fewer diseases we may catch. In addition
, scientific research has proved that the human body can easily be directed toward defeating illnesses through positive spiritual vibes. Therefore
, engaging in spiritual activities is highly common in my country. As an example, yoga sessions are one of the trendy activities in my hometown.
To conclude
, while
the initial steps to gain health
are having a proper diet, exercising, and avoiding stress, other methods, such
as breathing clean air and working on mental well-being, are also
beneficial. I suggest everyone keep an eye on their lifestyle and take good care of their bodies by following these simple, achievable rules.Submitted by basri.fateme on
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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the question and addresses multiple aspects of staying healthy. However, there could be more detailed examples to support the points made. Consider adding more specific examples or studies to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
The ideas presented in the essay are generally clear and comprehensive, but occasionally the writing could benefit from further clarification and detail. Make sure each point is thoroughly explained and connected to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but some paragraphs could use more explicit connections between sentences and ideas to enhance flow. Use linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between points.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and the conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay. However, the conclusion could be expanded slightly to provide a stronger summary of the main points discussed.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing various methods of staying healthy beyond just diet and exercise.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as the migration to the countryside and the popularity of yoga, strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, framing the essay cohesively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay makes it easy to follow the writer's argument.