Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A topic has emerged in contemporary society, which is some people believe that being famous for being wealthy and charming

instead

Linking Words

of achievements is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

detrimental

tend

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to the young. Personally, I am strongly convinced by

this

Linking Words

point, it is not a good phenomenon both for celebrities and youngsters, and my reasons will be given in the essay.

To begin

Linking Words

with, influenced by

such

Linking Words

idols, students may not focus on their academic learning. The teenager may see glamour and wealth as a worthy pursuit,

hence

Linking Words

they could not be interested in learning.

For instance

Linking Words

, many students in high school want to become a singer or sports players, and some of them

also

Linking Words

want to be successful easily by their appearance with no effort.

By contrast

Linking Words

, if the idol is famous for his accomplishment, a good example could be set,

therefore

Linking Words

it could be an inspiration to teenagers to improve their learning performance. What is more, the careers of celebrities will be damaged by

this

Linking Words

trend as well. It is obvious that a notion will certainly come to their mind, which is that there is no need

of improving

Change preposition

to improve

show examples

professional skills since the accomplishment which needs no effort is exposed to them. That means they lost opportunities to bring more and better work. As an example, Zhang Yixing ,a Chinese singer, stopped his steps when he became famous and was satisfied with his glamour,

then

Linking Words

he made progress at singing no more. In conclusion, I firmly believe that seeking wealth and glamour rather than high results is detrimental to young generations. I would recommend ignoring a wealthy lifestyle actively advertised by the media.

Submitted by 1022257956 on Mon Nov 21 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument effectively. Use linking words and transitions to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Ensure that the response fully addresses all aspects of the essay prompt and supports a clear position on the issue.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.
These days there is an increasing similarity among the number of countries due to the same products being bought worldwide, and view this trend negatively by some people. In my opinion, however, I strongly agree there is a positive phenomenon because it is beneficial to human society from an overall aspect.
7.5
band
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals think that tourists in other nations should follow local clothes and morality, but the other group believe that the host country should welcome the varieties of other cultures.
5.5
band
Some people said that it is prime duty of government of developing countries to provide basic amenities such as health,education. Give your opinion.
People hold distinctive opinions regarding a debate which is linked to the responsibilities of governments of developing countries. Some people think that the first duty of government of developing countries provides their people with fundamental necessities, while others claim that the government should tackle the other topics. In my opinion, although there are plausible arguments to support this perspective, there are also reasons to disagree with it.
7.5
band
Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?
Health Care is a fundamental need. Although private enterprises have made it so expensive for normal people, I believe the advantages of private health services overcome their disadvantages. It can be explained by analyzing the differences in waiting time and emergency attention from both public and private services.
6
band
qaqas) . The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, means of transport namely cars or motorbikes are one of the factors causing environmental issues. It is believed that the legal bodies should elevate the taxes on the price of petrol and gas used as material for a significant number of vehicles. From my perspective, this opinion is valid to a certain extent, but I still it is quite reasonable. The following paragraphs would shed light on my viewpoint.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people said that it is prime duty of government of developing countries to provide basic amenities such as health,education. Give your opinion.

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

qaqas) . The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?