IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that the government should regulate the activities of large companies, while others believe that businesses should be free to operate without interference. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Businesses face varying regulations depending on government policies.
However
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,
while
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 certain companies go beyond to mitigate their negative impact, many efforts appear inadequate, prompting calls for stricter measures. Others argue that excessive control could slow economic progress and disrupt market stability. I am of the opinion that regulation is necessary to ensure accountability, yet it should not come at the cost of commercial success. One advantage of minimal regulation is that it gives businesses more flexibility to respond to market shifts efficiently.
Although
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 industry giants must keep adjusting
due to
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 these conditions, over-monitoring can aggravate
this
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 process. A well-known example is Apple, which has benefited from outsourcing production to countries with more lenient labour laws.
As a result
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, the company has been able to reduce costs and focus on technological advancements. The fewer barriers, the faster businesses can develop and improve their products.
Nonetheless
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, Apple has
also
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 drawn criticism for poor working conditions in its supply chain. At the same time, the disadvantages of weak oversight are more significant because specific corporations take advantage of policies prioritising profit over responsibility.
For instance
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, Shell has been involved in several environmental scandals
due to
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 a lack of proper regulations.
Moreover
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, in 2024, the company sued Greenpeace UK after activists protested against its actions.
Consequently
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, large corporations may attempt to silence criticism
instead
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 of addressing ecological concerns and other issues.
Therefore
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, companies are unlikely to change their behaviour without stronger oversight unless financial penalties force them to. In conclusion, though scepticism about whether regulation should limit corporate development is understandable, I believe a degree of control is necessary to protect public interests and the environment. That being said, governance should not be so rigid that it discourages economic growth, and finding a middle ground between accountability and competition is the best strategy.

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task achievement
While the introduction provides a clear overview, consider elaborating on the opposing views more explicitly to enhance engagement immediately. A brief definition of what kind of regulations are being discussed could also provide clarity.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully supported. Your arguments are strong, but adding more specific examples or data where possible would elevate your points further. For instance, how Apple’s practices specifically relate to the benefits of minimal regulation could be tied back to economic impacts on innovation.
coherence and cohesion
The flow of ideas is generally smooth, but some transitions between points could be more explicit. Using connecting phrases could improve readability. For example, when transitioning from Apple's practices to Shell's, explicitly state the contrast in practices and consequences to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion is effective but could reiterate the main points briefly to reinforce your arguments solidly. This would help in solidifying the structure overall.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion and demonstrates a clear opinion, which is essential in task achievement. The introduction outlines your stance well, and the conclusion reflects it thoughtfully.
task achievement
You have successfully incorporated relevant examples (Apple and Shell) to support your arguments. These examples illustrate your points clearly and enhance your essay’s credibility.
coherence and cohesion
Your vocabulary is varied and appropriate, contributing to a strong argumentation style. This aspect significantly elevates the quality of your writing.
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