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Writing Samples
Band 5

What are advantage and disadvantages of immigration ?

#advantage #immigration
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Some
people
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 move into
to
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apply
show examples
another
country
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 for different reasons.
This
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 essay will
firstly
Linking Words
 discuss developing
in
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apply
show examples
their knowledge as one of the main advantages of
this
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 and
secondly
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, creating psychological problems as one of the main disadvantages. One of the main positive points of going to university to continue
education
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 might lead to deciding
for
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to
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 immigration
also
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 some
people
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 for getting
education
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 funds doing emigrate
such
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 as Ge.
For example
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, Canada and USA provide them
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 equipped universities, knowledgeable professors and
high tech
Add a hyphen
high-tech
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 facilities that tempt some
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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science seekers. On other hand, Germany
with
Change preposition
by
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 offering funds can absorb many of these immigrants. In
this
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country
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for
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apply
show examples
graduate
education
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 paid funds for students and
education
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 is usually free.
This
Linking Words
 has resulted in some of the
people
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for
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apply
show examples
developing in
education
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go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 out of their home
country
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. The main disadvantage of
this
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 phenomenon might cause starting psychological issues in some
people
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. Settling (living) in a new
country
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 and being far from their family might lead to
this
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 hassle. Cambridge University found in a recent study that the
people
Use synonyms
 who immigrate to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 get depressed by 20%.
Moreover
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, some other reasons
such
Linking Words
 as economic pressure and unknown culture might grow
this
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 problem for some of them.
This
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 results in immigration might bring about forming psychological problems. In conclusion, the benefits immigrate to
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
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country
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,
such
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 as developing
education
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, must be weighed against the drawbacks,
such
Linking Words
 as psychological
sufferings
Fix the agreement mistake
suffering
show examples
. Overall, the benefits outweigh the disadvantages because going
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a developed
country
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 might bring about developing
education
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 that can not be in a developing
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by alisharifi.hse on

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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