IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is better for a country to spend money for skills training and vocational training with practical work ( e.g. car maintenance, hairdressing ) than university education. To what extend do u agree or disagree?

#country #money #skills #work #e #g #car #maintenance #university #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a contentious argument over whether or not the government should invest
money
Use synonyms
 in
skills
Use synonyms
 training and vocational training with practical work. It is often argued that it is advantageous for a
country
Use synonyms
, whilst others disagree and say that tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role in
people
Use synonyms
's life
such
Linking Words
 as
Add an article
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 with
adequate
Add an article
an adequate
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 higher
education
Use synonyms
 is considered important, I firmly believe that the authorities must spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
skills
Use synonyms
 and practical training.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
skills
Use synonyms
 training including
first
Linking Words
-aid, car repair, stylist etc can provide means of earning.
In other words
Linking Words
, if the government of a
country
Use synonyms
 spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 vocational training, poor
people
Use synonyms
 can learn
skills
Use synonyms
 for free.
This
Linking Words
 can help them to earn
money
Use synonyms
 and support their families.
Moreover
Linking Words
, university fees are extremely expensive which only a wealthy
person
Use synonyms
 can afford so these employment institutions can improve a
country
Use synonyms
's economy.
For instance
Linking Words
, Pakistan's poverty rate is 77.60% out of which only 2% of
people
Use synonyms
 got the opportunity to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher
education
Use synonyms
 in 2016 so the government opened vocational institutions. As a consequence, the poverty rate decreased by 3.20% in 2018 and the economy got better.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many believe that high-level
education
Use synonyms
 is the key factor influencing
people
Use synonyms
's living standards.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
Use synonyms
 with higher degrees get good jobs with more than enough salary. To elucidate
further
Linking Words
, if a
person
Use synonyms
 has a university degree, they can have a lavish living style as well as a successful career. As an illustration, 88.99% of
people
Use synonyms
 with tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 have a booming future and joyful life than a
person
Use synonyms
 who does not have a college
education
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, according to my perspective, the ministries of a
country
Use synonyms
 should allocate
money
Use synonyms
 for
skills
Use synonyms
 and job training to enhance
people
Use synonyms
's life and
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country
Use synonyms
's economy.
However
Linking Words
, if a
person
Use synonyms
 can afford university expenses, they should graduate.
Submitted by FATYMALIK71 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: