IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason, some jobs are better done by men and others by women. Do you agree or disagree?

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These days, it seems that more
women
Use synonyms
 are entering traditionally “male-dominated” professions and vice versa.
While
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 some individuals still cling to the conservative belief that certain jobs are better suited to one
gender
Use synonyms
 than the other, I firmly believe that people, regardless of their sex, are capable of performing any job effectively. Below, I will elaborate on the reasons for my position. First and foremost, it is a mistake to base our judgments on sweeping generalizations about the characteristics of
men
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 and
women
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, as
such
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 stereotypes are often inaccurate and outdated.
Although
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 certain traits are commonly associated with each
gender
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, exceptions abound. Not all
women
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 are physically weak, just as not all
men
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 struggle with interpersonal communication. Traditional
gender
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 roles fail to account for the diversity of individual abilities and preferences.
Therefore
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, if a man or woman aspires to pursue a career typically reserved for the opposite
gender
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, they should be given the opportunity to demonstrate their competence.
Secondly
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, I contend that the inclusion of both
men
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 and
women
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 in the workplace fosters a sense of balance and enhances
overall
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 performance.
Men
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 and
women
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 often, though not always, approach tasks and problem-solving differently. Rather than perceiving these differences as weaknesses, we should view them as opportunities for innovation and growth. Diverse perspectives can lead to the discovery of more effective and efficient work practices, transforming individual weaknesses into collective strengths.
To conclude
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, I strongly reaffirm my belief that both male and female employees bring unique and invaluable contributions to any industry. Given that
gender
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 stereotypes are frequently inaccurate, it is imperative that we encourage individuals to pursue their desired careers, regardless of their sex. By doing so, we can create more inclusive and dynamic workplaces that benefit from the talents of all.

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task response
To enhance your task response, consider providing more specific examples and evidence to support your claims. Adding statistics, studies, or real-world cases would make your arguments more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
While the overall structure is logical, you can improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. Using clear linking phrases or transition words will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
introduction
Your introduction clearly presents your position and sets up the discussion effectively, engaging the reader from the start.
cohesion
Each paragraph is well-organized and addresses a separate point, contributing to a structured and coherent argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate
  • biological differences
  • characteristics
  • gender roles
  • stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • gender biases
  • fair representation
  • skills
  • qualifications
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