IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe the benefit of tourism outweigh the problems it creates in a particular place. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #benefit #tourism #place
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Use synonyms
Tourism
Add an article
The tourism
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 industry is one of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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growing industries in today’s world. Some argue that the beneficial aspects of it exceed the adverse effects. I entirely agree with
this
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 statement and will attempt to explain both sides in the following paragraphs. The
first
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 the foremost advantage of
tourism
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 is acting as an economic driver. To elaborate, it helps the economy grows rapidly by creating job opportunities for local people.
For instance
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, the areas related to travel namely hotels, car agencies, touring companies and souvenir shops, required
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
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 workforce.
As a result
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 of
this
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 employment, the community’s economy can grow widely. The
second
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 positive point
comes
Correct pronoun usage
that comes
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 to the mind is
development
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the development
a development
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 of the
country
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 due to tourist arrivals. Governments should facilitate their arrivals and make the
country
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 looks more attractive.
For example
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, by providing better and more convenient public
transportations
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transportation
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 or by improvement of infrastructures
such
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 as roads and highways, which
also
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 have significant impacts on the citizens’ lives. There are
also
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 some adverse effects to
tourism
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 if a
country
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 does not make solutions.
Firstly
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, the environmental damage
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can
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van
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can
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be
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is
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 mentioned, which has a great influence on residents’ surroundings. Imagine crowded sightseeing places, the Carbone dioxide gases produced by
use
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the use
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 of
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aircraft
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air craft
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aircraft
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, cars and other transportation will lead to air pollution. Another negative point might be cultural. To expand, some people
instead
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 of respecting different beliefs and traditions
,
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apply
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 will find a way to disrespect these customs. Take an Islamic
country
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 as an example, the dress code in these societies
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 different
than
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from
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European
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in European
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 countries which may cause major problems for both parties. To sum up,
Use synonyms
tourism
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the tourism
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 sector is a flourishing industry that brings more benefits than cons
although
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 some people are against
this
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 idea.
nevertheless
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, I totally agree that the pros of
tourism
Use synonyms
 due to the economical reasons and the way it made local lives more comfortable surpass the cons as there are always solutions to difficulties.
Submitted by niligh on

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