IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe the benefit of tourism outweigh the problems it creates in a particular place. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #benefit #tourism #place
Tourism
Add an article
The tourism
show examples
 industry is one of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
growing industries in today’s world. Some argue that the beneficial aspects of it exceed the adverse effects. I entirely agree with
this
 statement and will attempt to explain both sides in the following paragraphs. The
first
 the foremost advantage of
tourism
 is acting as an economic driver. To elaborate, it helps the economy grows rapidly by creating job opportunities for local people.
For instance
, the areas related to travel namely hotels, car agencies, touring companies and souvenir shops, required
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
show examples
 workforce.
As a result
 of
this
 employment, the community’s economy can grow widely. The
second
 positive point
comes
Correct pronoun usage
that comes
show examples
 to the mind is
development
Add an article
the development
a development
show examples
 of the
country
 due to tourist arrivals. Governments should facilitate their arrivals and make the
country
 looks more attractive.
For example
, by providing better and more convenient public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 or by improvement of infrastructures
such
 as roads and highways, which
also
 have significant impacts on the citizens’ lives. There are
also
 some adverse effects to
tourism
 if a
country
 does not make solutions.
Firstly
, the environmental damage
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
van
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 mentioned, which has a great influence on residents’ surroundings. Imagine crowded sightseeing places, the Carbone dioxide gases produced by
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
aircraft
show examples
air craft
Correct your spelling
aircraft
show examples
, cars and other transportation will lead to air pollution. Another negative point might be cultural. To expand, some people
instead
 of respecting different beliefs and traditions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will find a way to disrespect these customs. Take an Islamic
country
 as an example, the dress code in these societies
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 different
than
Change the preposition
from
show examples
European
Change preposition
in European
show examples
 countries which may cause major problems for both parties. To sum up,
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
 sector is a flourishing industry that brings more benefits than cons
although
 some people are against
this
 idea.
nevertheless
, I totally agree that the pros of
tourism
 due to the economical reasons and the way it made local lives more comfortable surpass the cons as there are always solutions to difficulties.
Submitted by niligh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: