In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

There has been a rapidly growing trend in some nations to encourage high school graduates to travel and get

experience

Add an article

the experience

an experience

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the real world by travelling for a year or

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

employed for jobs that they want to be hired in future. Young

people

by working or travelling can learn the value of money and improve their knowledge about how elderly

people

live, but there are

also

disadvantages that can

be happen

Change the verb form

happen

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

One

Correct your spelling

show examples

the

one

hand, some

people

support taking a gap year.

Firstly

it can benefit young

people

's personal development, which is

one

argument in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of it.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

they learn to value cultural variety through travel to other nations, where they will be exposed to various cultural and social standards,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

will improve their cultural knowledge.

Secondly

, еhey can change how they behave in front of their parents

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because through the

experience

they will understand how much their parents give them, and immediately begin to appreciate them.

On the other hand

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

and working are not without

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

drawbacks for young

people

One

issue is that spending extra money may result from vacation.

In other words

, the travel budget may be substituted with future college expenses. Unfortunately, without a strong academic background, it is impossible to have a respectable job or develop a successful career.

For instance

, many global corporations would not consider resumes from applicants without a university degree. Without a doubt, a gap year can negatively impact a student's career if they lose their academic concentration. To recapitulate what was said earlier,

this

experience

has it is own negative influences

Change preposition

show examples

the future work of students, but if they effectively use

this

time, they will gain

experience

Add an article

the experience

show examples

they would not find in any other situation

Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on Tue Nov 22 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s society, people’s perspectives on education have shown significant divergence. Therefore, the question of whether high schools should include a compulsory curriculum for free community service, such as working in a charity, helping the neighbourhood, or mentoring younger children, has become a matter of considerable debate. From my perspective, I agree with the viewpoint that students should engage in volunteer campaigns as these can bring about numerous benefits to them.
5.5
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foregin language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country . Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. first= statistics, only benefit second= like that, communicate
An argument has arisen about the reason of learning another language, the first view suggest that the primary reason is in order to work or travel, while the second group says that there are various factors. In this report, I will go through both views and then allow me to share my point of view.
6.5
band
In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?
Across the world, there are many countries where people with advanced degrees are struggling to find employment. I think this is because full-time employment is no longer the cornerstone of modern economies. Universities need to re-structure study options in order to keep abreast of this development.
6
band
Some people think we need more female leaders to create world peace and reduce violence. To what extent do you agree?
Unquestionably, every coin has two sides and so are the people. Society’s people are divided into two groups and therefore, we need more female leaders to create world peace has become a topic of debate among people. This essay will compare and contrast both of the opinions along with my opinion which is in the favour of former/latter view will be discussed in a sensible conclusion.
6.5
band
Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is true that genetic engineering is a key area of modern scientific research, with broad implications for all human societies. While I accept that this field of technology may have its dangers, I believe that the benefits of genetic engineering outweigh the drawbacks.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

Some people think we need more female leaders to create world peace and reduce violence. To what extent do you agree?

Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.