most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals, during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some folks argue that nowadays the original meaning of feast, either traditional or religious
festivals
, is left behind and that most of us see it as a means of seeking pleasure. While
I completely agree that having quality time with family or friends are priority during festival times, I do not agree that the meaning of the festival is forgotten.
On the one hand, religious and traditional festivals
are celebrated by most people
each year. In Indonesia, since Muslims are the majority citizens here, thus
eid
al fithr is a good example of festival
period when Add an article
a festival
people
were most concerned with making cookies, shopping, giving and receiving presents, decorating their homes and enjoying traditional meals with their families. Even the homecoming culture is embedded in the image of Eid
al-Fitr. Most people
, not only Muslims but also
other religious believers, look forward to Eid
al Fitr as a holiday period, rather than a time to practice religion. Similar behaviour can be seen during non-religious festivals
, for instance
, Independence Day, City Anniversary and local traditional festivals
in many places in Indonesia. In other words
, excitement is people
’s primary goal.
However
, I disagree with the idea that the underlying meaning of these festivals
is already forgotten. Before people
celebrate Eid
al Fitr, they have to fast for a month in Ramadan. Within this
month, people
of all ages, both men and women, boys or girls, fill their time by reciting the Qur’an, performing the Tarawih prayer, increasing alms and doing other good deeds. Parents also
play an important role in introducing their young children to the meaning of the
worship during Ramadan. Because of the role of all family members, Correct article usage
apply
thus
it makes the experiences they had during Ramadan were memorable. The same applies to the celebration of traditional festivals
that have a historical background. When participating in these celebrations, people
generally learn about the history behind them.
In conclusion, although
people
mainly want to please themselves, I believe that deep down in their hearts they realize and understand the story and meaning behind the celebrations.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence Cohesion
To enhance your score in coherence and cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to smoothly connect ideas.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, you could deepen the analysis of how festival traditions are maintained or how their meanings are conveyed to younger generations, adding further depth to your argument.
Introduction
The essay effectively introduces the topic and presents a clear thesis statement, setting the stage for a balanced discussion.
Use of Examples
Provides relevant examples from Indonesian culture to support the argument, enriching the content and making the discussion more tangible.
Position Consistency
Maintains a clear position throughout the essay, demonstrating a strong understanding of the task requirements.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!