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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together, To what extent dou you agree of disagree wtih this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages #dou #wtih
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Music
Use synonyms
 has a vital importance in every
people
Use synonyms
's life. There is much debate over whether bringing
people
Use synonyms
 of diverse cultures and ages together can be thanks to
music
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 which is a good way. I strongly believe that
although
Linking Words
music
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 has a specific feature which
address
Change the verb form
addresses
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anyone,
people
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 have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 opinion against other
people
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 who belong to another culture and age group. Some
people
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 highlight that
music
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 is a common language which everyone understands. When
people
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 hear a
song
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, they can like the
song
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 regardless of looking for what is the
song
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's language.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
special
speacial
Correct your spelling
special
 face of
music
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bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 various
people
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 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 different cultures and ages.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Eurovision
Correct article usage
the Eurovision
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 competition, one
votes
Change to a singular noun
vote
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
song
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 according to how
Use synonyms
song
Correct article usage
the song
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
feel
Correct pronoun usage
one feel
show examples
 them. At the end of the race,
Use synonyms
song
Add an article
a song
the song
show examples
 which is more connective among
people
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 will win the race.
In addition
Linking Words
, in every new year, almost all over the world is always
played
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 which is 'Jingle Bells'.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 prejudice
amongst
Change preposition
among
show examples
 every culture and age.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
music
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 is not enough method for bringing
people
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 together. To illustrate, I and my colleague who is older than me and Arabic generally
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 similar songs,
however
Linking Words
, we don't prefer being in
a same situations
Correct the article-noun agreement
same situations
a same situation
show examples
 because of our wrong guesses about each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. In conclusion, some
people
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 say that
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 way of
connect
Change the verb form
connecting
show examples
people
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having
Change preposition
with having
show examples
 distinct
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 and age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 is
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music
Change preposition
through music
show examples
, yet it is not sufficient for
this
Linking Words
 condition since I completely agree with every
people
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 has a prejudice which
avoid
Change the verb form
avoids
show examples
people
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 get together. So
music
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 cannot be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 adequate method.
Submitted by merttufan197 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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