Leisure is a growing industry. Nowadays, more of modern technology is used in entertainment, which may lead people to be less creative. Do you agree or disagree? state your view with examples.

There is a growing trend in the number of leisure industries that
use
modern
technology
. Some advocates say that
this
phenomenon may reduce
people
's creativity. I strongly agree with
this
notion, since most
people
's ideas to fabricate entertainment depend on
technology
. Undoubtedly, more and more industries providing entertainment utilize modern gizmos, ultimately making workers less imaginative.
For example
, many companies that provide a myriad of leisure activities for children
use
computers; primarily, artificial intelligence, in order to generate new activity and remain popular among younger individuals. Which in turn, mitigates
people
's ability to think by themselves. Despite being addicted to gadgets in order to generate ideas, individuals continue with
this
habit.
Consequently
, being dependent on modern
technology
can cause lifelessness,
consequently
, limiting
people
to think and fabricate new potential variants of entertainment.
For example
, some modern entrepreneurs
use
social media,
such
as Google, YouTube, and so on, in order to find useful information for their upcoming projects. Since modern
technology
provides us with a vast array of different information, many advocates believe that there is no need to invent new entertaining activities by themselves,
as a result
, they end up losing their ability to create new ideas. In summary, I affirm that it is true that individuals have become less inventive,
due to
the developments of modern
technology
. Because,
for instance
, some
people
use
artificial intelligence, to invent something, ultimately becoming less imaginative.
Also
, some of them may become lazy, which can restrict their ability to produce new activities in leisure industries.
Submitted by kozhadargulov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to develop more specific examples to illustrate your points. Providing detailed cases or real-world instances can enhance the impact of your argument.
task achievement
Maintain a balanced view by considering potential opposing viewpoints or benefits of using technology in leisure, which can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas within paragraphs to enhance ease of reading. Reviewing transitional phrases can be helpful.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion that clearly state and summarize your position.
coherence cohesion
Logical organization of ideas, presenting your point of view and supporting it effectively.
task achievement
Focused and relevant response to the task, addressing the prompt directly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure industry
  • modern technology
  • entertainment
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • virtual reality (VR)
  • passive consumption
  • cognitive skills
  • social interaction
  • physical activity
  • interactive platforms
  • user-generated content
  • collaborative projects
  • video games
  • digital era
What to do next:
Look at other essays: