Today more and more people are overweight than before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this. What are main affects of this epidemic.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity has increased dramatically among human beings. In
this
Linking Words
essay,I will discuss some of the reasons and consequences of
this
Linking Words
catastrophic phenomenon. Regarding the main reasons,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
untempered junk
food
Use synonyms
consumption and the lack of time,which is necessary to accord cooking at home,may lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity.
Firstly
Linking Words
,the consumption of fast
food
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has gained recently a lot of popularity,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
among
teeens
Correct your spelling
teens
. In every corner, they are
Correct your spelling
bombarded
bombared
Correct your spelling
bombarded
with adverts about the delicious taste of
this
Linking Words
faty-sugary
food
Use synonyms
.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
they
are tempt
Change the verb form
are tempted
show examples
to have dinner outside with their friends,
instead
Linking Words
of eating
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Mc Donald
Correct your spelling
McDonald
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can be found everywhere, near schools,
parc
Correct word choice
and parc
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
, persuades teens to pester their parents
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
buying a happy meal.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the lack of time, because parents are working
Correct your spelling
extra hours
extrahours
Correct your spelling
extra hours
,becoming workaholics, to earn a living in the stiff
Correct your spelling
competition
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
in their
work
Use synonyms
,do not supervise their
enfant's
Correct your spelling
infant's
diet.
As a result
Linking Words
, it appeals to them, to offer pocket money, to buy whatever their offsprings want,
compensating
Change the verb form
to compensate
show examples
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
absence. Researchers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
found that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the obesity rate among teen has increased because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deficient family gatherings and sentimental attachment. As for the consequences of
this
Linking Words
impact, the burden that
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
system will face and
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of
work
Use synonyms
labour, should not be neglected.
Medical
Add an article
The medical
show examples
system, due to an
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
number of obese people, later, will encounter financial problems in treating those obese patients, for
Correct your spelling
diseases
dieases
Correct your spelling
diseases
such
Linking Words
as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
diabetes
diabets
Correct your spelling
diabetes
, high blood pressure
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
so on.
in addition
Linking Words
, the labour
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
, will automatically decline, due to the fact that youths will not be able to
work
Use synonyms
, as their health conditions do not permit.As a consequence, the country's economy may decline and
dwellers
Change noun form
dwellers'
dweller's
show examples
standard of living
also
Linking Words
will face the negative effects of
this
Linking Words
result. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
should be less promoted and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention should be turned towards
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet.
Submitted by dr.lurabraga on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: