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Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#people #advertisement #products #lives
Advertisement
 is the prominent factor to attract
mass
Correct article usage
the mass
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 community. There are
people
 who believe,
Correct your spelling
because
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
of
Correct pronoun usage
thisof
show examples
,
advertisement
 they are buying unnecessary products.
However
, there are few who opine that promotions make them aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
latest
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the latest
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trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 and keep their life healthy.
As per
Change preposition
In
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 my opinion, both are the correct situation as per the current scenario.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of companies, invest
handsome
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the handsome
a handsome
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amount
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amounts
show examples
 in
advertisement
Add an article
the advertisement
an advertisement
show examples
 of their products. There has been significant growth in
this
 sector.
Correct your spelling
Companies
Comapnies
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Companies
 are paying
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 amount to celebrities for
promotion
Correct article usage
the promotion
show examples
 of products.
People
 who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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following respective celebrities will
Correct your spelling
definitely
definelty
Correct your spelling
definitely
 try
Add an article
the product
a product
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
,endorsed by them and it is one of the root
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 that
people
 are buying unwanted
things
.
Furthermore
,
Correct your spelling
announcing
annoucing
Correct your spelling
announcing
 a sale is another reason,
for instance
, in India, various supermarket has declared a day in
week
Add an article
the week
a week
show examples
where
Correct word choice
when
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people
 can get
things
on
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at
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 discounted prices, which leads to purchasing
things
 in bulk to get monetary benefits,
lands
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and lands
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people
 to buy
things
 which are not necessary.
Advertisement
 has benefits as well. It makes
people
 aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the latest trends in the market.
For example
, several
Correct your spelling
companies
comapnies
Correct your spelling
companies
 are
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manufacturing
manufactring
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manufacturing
santary
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sanitary
 napkins with the help of promotions of that napkin consumer is aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the new change,
how
Correct word choice
and how
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 another
Correct your spelling
company's
comapny's
Correct your spelling
company's
 product is
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better than the other. It creates wide options for buyers so
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they can make better choices for themselves.
Advertisement
 creates healthy competition in the market and to survive here companies have to
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deliver
delievr
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deliver
 the goods as per the standards which,
Correct your spelling
ultimately
ultimatley
Correct your spelling
ultimately
 helps the customer only. In conclusion,
people
 are highly
depend
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on promotions. As
advertisement
 is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 integral part of our life it has both advantages and
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disadvanges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
,
however
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in
this
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 it is difficult to live without
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
.
Submitted by himalibhavsar7 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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