Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Nowadays, having a smartphone is converted to a fundamental requirement that without it , life will be arduous and difficult.

Nonetheless

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, using a smartphone for hours is never recommended, because it can waste your

time

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with nonsense. The majority of Children use

smartphones

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for long-lasting. It seems that they are surrounded by technologies

such

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smartphones

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. In my opinion, it is a negative advance and in

this

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essay, I will explain my opinion with examples.

Firstly

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smartphones

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are built for distraction and engaging juveniles. In fact, they are constructed in order to toddlers do not have efficient

time

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for learning and gaining valuable experience and it reduces brain function.

For example

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, spending

time

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with friends and siblings is effective for morale,

instead

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of putting

head

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a head

the head

show examples

on the phone and playing with it.

Secondly

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, using

smartphones

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for a long

time

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can cause irreparable damage which includes, inaction, obesity and sleeplessness

as well as

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mental disorders.

In other words

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, not only children will damaged physically, but they

also

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will damaged mentally. They will be lonely, because they spend their

time

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with

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apply

show examples

just phone games,

instead

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of hanging out with peers.

On the other hand

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, youngsters can use

smartphones

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in order to watch suitable movies and read good books,

Due to

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access to

smartphones

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children can use phones,

instead

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of carrying heavy books and stationery.

For example

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, They can have a virtual class and space of learning, without any bother. All in all, as can be seen from the points in

this

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essay, I think negative development outweighs positive advance. You should bear in mind that using

smartphones

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for juveniles must be in the framework,

otherwise

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, it can be damaging.

Submitted by hoseinyasemi.ir on Wed May 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, use clearer topic sentences and make stronger connections between your paragraphs. Try to smoothly transition from one idea to the next.

task achievement

To enhance task response, provide more detailed examples to support your points. This can help demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Your essay covers both sides of the argument, showcasing an understanding of the topic.

task achievement

You provided a clear opinion, stating it is a negative development, which helps clarify your stance on the subject.

coherence cohesion

You've structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps with the logical flow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agreee or disagree?

In many countries import food from other contry of the world.what are the advantages and disadvantages of this kasur.

There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?