IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that the Olympic Games are an exciting event and can promote the communication between different countries, while others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #olympic #games #event #communication #countries #waste #money
Some argue that the
Olympic
Games
 are a crucial entertainment to enhance bonds with different nations, while others say that the
waste
 it causes outweighs its merits. In
this
 essay, I will go through both perceptions and conclude with my point of view.
To begin
 with, it is undeniable that the
Olympic
Games
 have been a significant event since its long history, which was derived from the ancient Greek era and can be dated back thousands of years ago.
Moreover
,
people
 have been in the favour of watching competitions and sports
games
 due to the numerous excitements and happiness
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 brought
people
.
In addition
, watching sports event with families and friends allow
people
 to enhance their relationships with each other.
Furthermore
, it is
also
 a good way to have a glimpse into different countries and different cultures.
For example
, if a nation wins a championship
people
 from around the world will be keen to know more about their community and culture.
However
, the
Olympic
Games
 often have detrimental impacts on society.
First
 of all, the stadiums built for the Olympics, which cost a colossal amount of money, were mostly not for long-term use and will become useless when the event was over.
Therefore
 it will cause a
waste
 of money, energy, and material when establishing them.
Additionally
, individuals will have to pay high taxes to cover the huge amount of money that the government spent on the Olympics. In conclusion,
people
's attitudes toward the
Olympic
Games
 differ; some enjoy thrilling experiences while others see it as a
waste
. In my opinion, it is a double-edged sword, and we should strike a balance between having fun and reducing
waste
.
Submitted by n0806ing on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global unity
  • foster
  • athletic prowess
  • cultural exchange
  • universal platform
  • transcending
  • infrastructure development
  • drain resources
  • long-term investments
  • financial imprudence
  • recouped
  • sustainable planning
  • mitigate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: