Some People Think That We Live In A Society Where Money And Possessions Are Given Too Much Importance. Others Believe That This Is Improving Our Lives. Discuss Both These Views And Give Your Own Opinion.

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Introduction

There are those who argue that consumerism causes people to place excessive value on material goods and wealth.

While

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others think that a consumer culture is beneficial for improving people’s standard of living.

This

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essay discusses both sides of

this

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argument and

then

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I will give my own perspective.

Body paragraph 1

There are two drawbacks to a materialistic

society

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. One of which is that it causes people to consider wealth as the only pathway to happiness.

Therefore

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, people might spend too much time

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apply

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earning money and very little time with their families and friends.

In addition

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this

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the

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apply

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traditional values

such

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as frugality might be lost in a consumer

society

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This

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might cause a throw-away culture and overconsumption problems.

As a consequence

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, a depletion of natural resources and excessive disposal of waste might cause the environment to be damaged. Eventually, inhabitants will suffer from pollution and inadequacy of resources.

Body paragraph 2

Materialism does have its benefits. The most significant advantage of a consumer culture is that it generates wealth for a country. The taxes paid for goods,

such

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as the Australian goods and services tax, will increase the revenue for the whole

society

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. Afterwards, the government can reinvest in education and healthcare to benefit the citizens.

Furthermore

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, more employment opportunities will arise from the jobs created for manufacturing, advertising and retailing.

This

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will see more local residents earning a good income and

reduce

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reducing

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poverty, which is of clear benefit to the welfare of a country.

Conclusion

To conclude

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, I believe that consumerism does provide some benefits.

However

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, I am inclined to believe that the drawbacks of a greedy, materialistic

society

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far outweigh the advantages because the level of consumption is not sustainable and future generations will inherit a planet with fewer resources and higher levels of pollution.

onlineconsumer

Jun 15, 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, providing a clear and balanced discussion. However, the example could be more specific and varied to improve task response.

coherence cohesion

Consider adding more transitional phrases to further enhance the smooth flow of ideas. For instance, using phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally' could improve readability.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability and comprehension.

task achievement

You have effectively discussed both sides of the argument and provided a personal perspective in the conclusion.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

money
wealth
things
goods
value
importance
society
life
family
time
happiness
debt
ads
media
spend
earn
buy
save
budget
safety
health
education
job
work
choice
freedom
balance
risk
inequality
progress
improve
harm
charity
support
plan
future

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Some People Think That We Live In A Society Where Money And Possessions Are Given Too Much Importance. Others Believe That This Is Improving Our Lives. Discuss Both These Views And Give Your Own Opinion.

Some students focus on a general range of school subjects,but others study only their favorite ones or those they are very good at.Discuss advantages of thw two methods and show your opinion.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be outdoors after a particular time at night unless they are with an adult. What is your opinion about this

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

The internet is amazing and has changed the world. Many people use it. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet