Some People Think That We Live In A Society Where Money And Possessions Are Given Too Much Importance. Others Believe That This Is Improving Our Lives. Discuss Both These Views And Give Your Own Opinion.
There are those who argue that consumerism causes people to place excessive value on material goods and wealth.
While
others think that a consumer culture is beneficial for improving people’s standard of living. This
essay discusses both sides of this
argument and then
I will give my own perspective.
There are two drawbacks to a materialistic society
. One of which is that it causes people to consider wealth as the only pathway to happiness. Therefore
, people might spend too much time on
earning money and very little time with their families and friends. Change preposition
apply
In addition
to this
, the
traditional values Correct article usage
apply
such
as frugality might be lost in a consumer society
. This
might cause a throw-away culture and overconsumption problems. As a consequence
, a depletion of natural resources and excessive disposal of waste might cause the environment to be damaged. Eventually, inhabitants will suffer from pollution and inadequacy of resources.
Materialism does have its benefits. The most significant advantage of a consumer culture is that it generates wealth for a country. The taxes paid for goods, such
as the Australian goods and services tax, will increase the revenue for the whole society
. Afterwards, the government can reinvest in education and healthcare to benefit the citizens. Furthermore
, more employment opportunities will arise from the jobs created for manufacturing, advertising and retailing. This
will see more local residents earning a good income and reduce
poverty, which is of clear benefit to the welfare of a country.
Wrong verb form
reducing
To conclude
, I believe that consumerism does provide some benefits. However
, I am inclined to believe that the drawbacks of a greedy, materialistic society
far outweigh the advantages because the level of consumption is not sustainable and future generations will inherit a planet with fewer resources and higher levels of pollution.Submitted by onlineconsumer on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, providing a clear and balanced discussion. However, the example could be more specific and varied to improve task response.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding more transitional phrases to further enhance the smooth flow of ideas. For instance, using phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally' could improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability and comprehension.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both sides of the argument and provided a personal perspective in the conclusion.
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