Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #tv #home #school

It is argued that adolescents should be prompted to

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

devices

such

as television, and mobile with the belief, it will help children to educate themselves at home

besides

school. Despite there

are

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

some pros of watching videos, in my opinion, it harms more.

This

essay will discuss the reasons behind it, as well as the consequence of it. The

ideas

Fix the agreement mistake

idea

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why people think that watching

could be

Remove the article

apply

show examples

effective learning is that younger groups develop their learning through hearing faster than any other method. If they watch

, they learn through hearing

besides

watching. It is the main reason why people think letting children watch

is necessary at home and school.

For example

, pre-primary schools, in Bangladesh, keep an hour for watching educational videos. It helps schools to keep the children attracted toward class as well as make the class fruitful. On the flip side, why I believe devices should not include in any way to kids, is

firstly

Replace the adverb

first

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its

Correct pronoun usage

their

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demerits are more huge than advantages. Young people become addicted to the device and become stubborn day by day.

Moreover

, they deny doing anything if they don't get a mobile or

to watch.

This

results

Add the preposition

inresults

fromresults

show examples

speech delay with problematic eye site.

For instance

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research In Bangladesh shows that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

speech delay reaches

Change preposition

apply

show examples

12% within a year, which is an alarming rate for the country. In conclusion, considering both sides of watching

, the most rational conclusion to be drawn is that, screen time should be limited at

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

age.

Correct your spelling

Despite

Dispite

Correct your spelling

Despite

, it can help kids

Change preposition

with

show examples

faster learning, its cons overweight the benefit, in my view.

Submitted by alina.aphrodite on Thu Nov 24 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people believe that formal “pen and paper” examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter: explain what you like bout the cafeteria say what is wrong suggest how it could be improved