Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that adolescents should be prompted to

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

devices

such

Linking Words

as television, and mobile with the belief, it will help children to educate themselves at home

besides

Linking Words

school. Despite there

are

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

some pros of watching videos, in my opinion, it harms more.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons behind it, as well as the consequence of it. The

ideas

Fix the agreement mistake

idea

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why people think that watching

Use synonyms

could be

Remove the article

apply

show examples

effective learning is that younger groups develop their learning through hearing faster than any other method. If they watch

Use synonyms

, they learn through hearing

besides

Linking Words

watching. It is the main reason why people think letting children watch

Use synonyms

is necessary at home and school.

For example

Linking Words

, pre-primary schools, in Bangladesh, keep an hour for watching educational videos. It helps schools to keep the children attracted toward class as well as make the class fruitful. On the flip side, why I believe devices should not include in any way to kids, is

Linking Words

firstly

Replace the adverb

first

show examples

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

demerits are more huge than advantages. Young people become addicted to the device and become stubborn day by day.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they deny doing anything if they don't get a mobile or

Use synonyms

to watch.

This

Linking Words

results

Add the preposition

inresults

fromresults

show examples

speech delay with problematic eye site.

For instance

Linking Words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research In Bangladesh shows that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

speech delay reaches

Change preposition

apply

show examples

12% within a year, which is an alarming rate for the country. In conclusion, considering both sides of watching

Use synonyms

, the most rational conclusion to be drawn is that, screen time should be limited at

early

Add an article

an early

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age.

Correct your spelling

Despite

Dispite

Correct your spelling

Despite

, it can help kids

Change preposition

with

show examples

faster learning, its cons overweight the benefit, in my view.

alina.aphroditeThu Nov 24 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

source of distraction
educational content
entertainment shows
advertisements
inappropriate content
hinders learning
interactive learning opportunities
traditional classroom settings
one-way medium
individual learning needs
prolonged screen time
negative health effects
eye strain
poor posture
lack of physical activity
overall development
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
interactive, hands-on activities
passive television watching
participatory forms of learning
group projects
experiments
real-world problem solving
cognitive abilities
social skills

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