Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it’s better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

#people #government #health #care #methods #treatment #it’s #funds #education #culture

There is no denying that culture, education and health are very important for each person regardless of where they are living.

While

some people argue that it is better to improve the strength system, others agree that the money could be a better waste if we invest in culture and

also

in education. First and foremost,

it is clear that

not everyone can pay for a good quality of vital services

such

as health. Take as an example Brazil, which has a big percentage of families living in poverty, with no access to a decent health plan or even a house and food. Politicians witch we elect are responsible for providing good conditions to the population live, and fitness is included in the package.

Furthermore

, we are still living in a pandemic time, where things turned much

worst

Correct word choice

worse

show examples

than they used to be, and it is the government's responsibility to take care of the neediest people.

However

, I strongly agree that governments should invest in culture and education too, taking into consideration that they are

important

Rephrase

as important

show examples

as fitness. There is no doubt that these two things are good investments for each country, moving the economy and

also

transforming people's

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Take as evidence the transformation that a person can make in her life with study, becoming a doctor, lawyer or engineer, professions that nowadays have a good payback, and the help of the authorities will allow

this

miserable person to change their lives. All in all, the government are responsible for the growth of the country and for the wealth of the inhabitants. It is important that they look for all sides seeking the areas that need more investment depending on the time.

Submitted by tdomingos615 on Thu Nov 24 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Great job in presenting both sides of the argument regarding the allocation of government funds to health care, education, and culture. Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing different viewpoints, and a conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph is well-developed with clear transitions between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In poor families, teenagers may have to work part-time as well as study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this for these teenagers.
There is a strong argument that young people from poor families should study and work part-time to cater to their financial needs. In this essay, I will examine from both sides the benefits and drawbacks of the statement.
7.5
band
-Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste.
The disputes about choosing a specific subject or exploring other subjects have been becoming a topic of discussion in the education field, particularly in the University. Some students want to specialise in the main subject only, and some are excited to explore by dedicating their time and focus to other courses.
6
band
Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?
The promises of incorporating artificial intelligence and automation into human lives are limitless. Thanks to the massive growth in computing power and data available, machine-learning algorithms have become more sophisticated. The automation of tasks that previously required human labour would now be possible. For example, artificial intelligence applications have been used in human resource management to streamline certain aspects of the recruitment process. In the field of education, processes of grading and assessing student's learning abilities can be carried out through automated systems. Most people nowadays have virtual assistants such as Siri from Apple or Google Assistant from Google to arrange schedules, send emails or take notes on their behalf. These transformations can open up new opportunities for society and help the individual better manage their lives. In my individual's views, despite many great advances, artificial intelligence technologies are still very far fr...
5
band
In most of the countries of the word youngsters are involved in some kind of paid work. People have different view about it: some think it is completely wrong, while other believe it is a valuable work experience. Discuss both views.
In most of the countries of the word youngsters are involved in some kind of paid work. People have different view about it: some think it is completely wrong, while other believe it is a valuable work experience. In my opinion, it would be enough if children had a limit in paid work.
5
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages fo this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, in some counties the young generation uotnumbers the quantity of aged people. This essay will discuss both pros and cons of this phenomenon and provide a logical conclusion.

Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it’s better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In poor families, teenagers may have to work part-time as well as study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this for these teenagers.

-Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste.

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

In most of the countries of the word youngsters are involved in some kind of paid work. People have different view about it: some think it is completely wrong, while other believe it is a valuable work experience. Discuss both views.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages fo this situation outweigh the disadvantages?